Latest Posts by filminah - Page 4

recently i've been having those kind of dreams where its just better scenarios of things i regret and mistakes i made but done right- mended friendships and happier times. it's so real and so tangible that when i wake up it takes me a few minutes to realise. maybe i'll even remember text convos and then i'll check and realise it's not there. that's it's not real after all. i have a theory that dreams are just created from thoughts and repressed memories that linger in the back of your mind, which come to the forefront and get muddled together which is why they become so weird (well at least ik some of my dreams are).

winter wakeup (ill rambles about studies n clothes)

imo winter only starts when it's december - i heard that some people count november as winter aswell? like nooo?? november is its own season. nightmare before christmas kinda season. it's currently half 3 in the afternoon and i'm still in bed because i'm sick, i had a ton of sociology work that was due today so i think i'm going to be slaughtered by an angry mike wazowski (my sociology teacher) next friday. i think there's a stomach bug going around school or something. i ordered stuff from shein (ear muffs, a scarf and leg warmers) and i'm praying it comes early because according to the website it'll come literally the afternoon of my trip and if it does i'm going to cry bc i'm going to be halfway to london by the time it arrives if that's the case. coming up with winter outfits is so hard? like the outfit almost always consists of your coat, shoes and bottoms from the knee down. idk abt you but i don't have a coat or shoe collection. that brings me to actually cute winter trends though. EAR MUFFS??!! I'm soooo glad those are coming back because they are v cute!!. puffer jackets are always cool, idk how to feel about long puffer jackets bc imo they're never very puffery, just a sad deflated blanket. it's like if santa was victoria secret model kinda thin vibes. just doesn't look right. i LOVEE flares with all my heart!!! they give me bratz doll vibes. super super cute!! i helped someone w work yesterday (it wasn't much effort i was just copy and pasting and typing stuff) and he paid me :DD i think i'll buy some new gold chokers bc two of my other ones snapped :(. I also need some new dangly earrings because i lost my fav ones D: rn, jewellery, claw clips,makeup and movies is the only thing keeping me alive. i really need to catchup on a level media homeworkwand pull a folder worth of work together this weekend. what do i even put in it?? pls help ok i'm gonna go back to sleep bc i feel gross but there's a giant spider in the bathtub so i have to wait for it to disappear. until later probably lol Amimi

november nutshell

26/11/22 nonsensical. as of writing this it's 1:18pm, my rooms a mess and i feel gross. this month has been really shit i'm not going to lie but i'll write about it anyways because who knows, it'll probably be a turning point that i'll look back on. there's been friend drama, dropping grades and a confession i stressed over for a year, took slander for and threw my exams away for, that boiled down to absolutely nothing. my efforts and tears meant nothing at all. i guess it's had it's good moments now and then though. like the BBC Share Your Story Tour! that visited my academy which was really unexpected and cool. i feel kind of numb after yesterday to be honest. i don't know what to think anymore. that aside, there's some cool things going on and things to look forward to. in art we're starting an independent project to test how well we work without support, simply being given a list of themes to choose from and interpret however we like. the theme i chose was telling stories. that sends me back to the BBC share your story tour in which the story of BBC Correspondent Navtej Johal really stuck with me. i decided i'll create work based off of not only fairytales and fantasy, fiction and myths, but real stories aswell and hopefully he replies to my email! my final piece for this independent project is what i'm the most stoked for, it'll be a popup book with a handpainted cover. whether it'll tell a story or simply be one spectacular scene i'm not sure yet, but i'm really excited to make something. there's also a trip to london i'll be going to with school! which will be super fun. thinking of all these cool things has really cheered me up, so thank you to the people who read these little posts and like because it makes me want to keep writing these, i'd love to see you in the comments and interact with you more! until next time! Amimi

bonfire night (with the bastard of the barrel)

watching shadow and bone while waiting for the fireworks to go off and lowkey wishing the crows were from the UK omggggg because blowing up the house of parliament but actually getting away with it would be the most kaz brekker thing ever.

october onslaught (obstacles and others)

01:01 - Friday 28th October that title does not make sense but i spent a good however many minutes scrolling through synonyms on thesaurus.com to come up with it and i refuse to waste those efforts.

so sixth form turned up a notch in the past month, it's been flashing by really quick, i'm unorganised and flustered by every little thing - not to mention how thrown off i am by not only the sheer amount of work, but how much i have to try and catch up on due to sick days. now that i don't partake in anything other than school (as i've dropped my religious studies), i find myself growing really restless. i'm considering getting a job? but i'd have to make a cv and figure out how to make a bank account and tons of other things before even considering applying. idk i feel kinda dumb for not knowing these things already. it's half term holiday! well, almost the end seeing as i have the weekend and then have to go back to school. i plan on somehow plowing through all of the work i've missed (particularly sociology) and being fully up to speed by friday. wish me luck! i'll probably be doing tons of school posts to motivate me so i'll see you soon. until next time! ~Amimi

spoke to the exams office and the deal was cut off, my fees won't be covered so now i'm unsure because i'd still really like to resit

a (very rare) math/science post.

hey! so i'm a british student but you'll see me putting things in brackets to help clarify things for my non british readers. so i did my GCSEs (i think the american equivalent is SATs?) back in may and june and one thing about me during my last year of school is i was in some deep shit. so i didn't really do that well. I got a bunch of 6s (B+s) and7 (A) in eng lit. i found i was couple marks off of a grade 7 (A ) in almost all my subjects including math and science. now i can deal with a B in art and a B in sociology because I'm doing them for A levels ( google tells me the americn equivalent is AP examinations) so doing well in them means that my gcse grade will be dismissed since i did better at A level today i asked my math teacher if there was any way i could resit and he cut me the following deal: if i resat my exams in either november or june of next year and got a better grade then he'd cover the fees and same goes for science. now, i just started sixth form/college so i'd have to learn in my own time somehow. i don't have anyone to teach me and i can't afford tutoring but i was offered to sit in the back of lessons during my free period every tuesday and that afterschool i can ask whatever available teacher for help for anything i really really can't teach myself should i go for it? please interact and tell me what you think.

HELP, all the tiktoks about the new dahmer series made me rediscover my AHS phase, and i'm telling you the GRIPPP evan peters has on me rn is even tighter than when i used to cry myself to sleep at 12 knowing i couldn't have him

september start, struggles and sixth form

the alliteration came so naturally to me i didn't even realise. soooo september has been something. starting sixth form has been striking to say the least. i thought i'd instantly take to my subjects but surprisingly i haven't. they've been engaging and i've definitely enjoyed media the most, i'm so stoked for when we actually get to make our own projects and such later on in the school year. i have somehow already managed to lose my fine art folder but it's just experimental work so it's whatever. why is september like january? speaking of september its officially autumn yayayayayayay. i can't wait to buy some jumpers and such to go with the brown and beige flares i bought!! i'm doing my best to channel my dark academia phase and romanticise school so i'll do better! oh and my math gcse was sent off for a remark - i was only two marks off of a 7 (A) so i'll tell you how that turns out when i hear back! i gtg catch up with sociology work, i'm sorry if this post was a bit bland but there's not a lot to talk about from this month. until next time! ~Amimi posting this a bit late because i forgot to queue this but oh well.

this. i can't tell whether its bad or whether i hate myself

I feel like my arts been looking worse than usual

2am, sweater weather, french, books, pastel flower patterned curtains, a moonless night, warm candlelight, artwork tacked onto walls, materials strewn across the floor, grey furry rugs, white furniture with silver hardware, 3 white walls and a single sage green, antique jewellery boxes from my grandma, memory box on my bedside table, rings and chokers, earrings and necklaces, nail files, jade rollers, makeup brushes, matte lipstick

help i'm crying

like today i had to make a doctors appointment and go to the doctors on my own for the first time ever because my parents were busy. that sounds childish but as a 16-year-old hermit it was painstaking. like the doctor asked me a very embarrassing question and i turned to the chair next me and then realised my mum wasn't there.. and then slowly... turned back to the doctor. she was so nice, asking about a levels and trying to make me comfortable. still, never seeing her again.

i find it weird how the most random braindead thoughts i end up spewing get more likes than the well-thought-out, narrative diary post that took me an hour to write. im totally cool with that

crying because i only just found out about the ultimate tumblr sexyman poll???? and how it destroyed the british monarchy? HOW TOBY FOX REALIVED JUST FOR THIS MONUMENTAL EVENT?? i really missed out...

a (very rare) math/science post.

hey! so i'm a british student but you'll see me putting things in brackets to help clarify things for my non british readers. so i did my GCSEs (i think the american equivalent is SATs?) back in may and june and one thing about me during my last year of school is i was in some deep shit. so i didn't really do that well. I got a bunch of 6s (B+s) and7 (A) in eng lit. i found i was couple marks off of a grade 7 (A ) in almost all my subjects including math and science. now i can deal with a B in art and a B in sociology because I'm doing them for A levels ( google tells me the americn equivalent is AP examinations) so doing well in them means that my gcse grade will be dismissed since i did better at A level today i asked my math teacher if there was any way i could resit and he cut me the following deal: if i resat my exams in either november or june of next year and got a better grade then he'd cover the fees and same goes for science. now, i just started sixth form/college so i'd have to learn in my own time somehow. i don't have anyone to teach me and i can't afford tutoring but i was offered to sit in the back of lessons during my free period every tuesday and that afterschool i can ask whatever available teacher for help for anything i really really can't teach myself should i go for it? please interact and tell me what you think.

Salut!!! I am here to give you some resources that helped me learn french! <3 I will warn you that I learn very informally. I hate taking notes or like seriously studying.

Langauge Transfer- a free podcast lesson that is FANTASTIC for getting a good base in the language and for making connections from english to french. You can listen on youtube or soundcloud

netflix- once you can at least read a bit in french, i would highly recommend the show Lupin on netflix. Watching with french subtitles and then graduating to sans sous-titres will really help! It is a wonderful show and I think that Omar Sy´s accent is really easy to understand

TV5Monde- they have a really good listening comprehension test and then give you resources to improve. You might watch a video about an art exhibit and then answer some questions about it.

Youtube- I can not stress this enough. Not only can you find teachers, but you can also find native french content to practice. BUT the most useful is the comments. That's where you can learn a ton of slang and vocab

I have never been a huge soccer fan er I guess le fút lol. But i am now. Paris-Saint-Germain has a great channel with interviews and games with the players.

CRAZY SALLY

cam summers

Piece of French (teacher)

French Avec Nelly (teacher)

InnerFrench (teacher) and he has a great podcast too!!

Easy French (interviews for people learning french)

lingoni french and french with Alexa (these two were never my cup of tea but are great quality)

Duolingo- some people really do be hating on it, but it has gotten a lot better. I wouldn't recommend it as a only/primary source of learning, but it is a great supplement to get some more vocab in. Plus if you join in on the leaderboards and challenges, it is fun

I do make flashcards as a way to review vocab and I go over them when I get the chance. Quizlet made a lot of their stuff premium :( so i use Brainscape which is pretty great

The best way to get better is to talk!!!! Even talking to yourself for a few minutes a day will do wonders

Bonne chance! <3

oh my, i love you <3 merci beaucoup!

i'll definitely check out all the resources!

 chloé stafler's french cover of sweater weather slapped me across the face with a french textbook and i took the hit gladly

i think nightmares are talked about way too much, i think the worst kind of torture is those good dreams, about making up with someone, about resolving issues, like its a whole year later and you finally think you moved on but it's the cruelest reminder when you wake up and you realize that it''d never happen and you're left there with a different kind of pain. that empty hole in your chest.

rediscovering my love of french and wanting to pick it up again, i used to hate it in school but now i realise how the structure of school and exams just ironically kills of the feeling of wanting to learn. please interact and tell me your fav methods of learning languages? or just your experiences with learning french in general?

why is lightning constantly striking outside my window? gives me flashbacks of bangladeshi storm and having the entire building shake while huddled in a corner and my aunts just shrugging like we won't be possibly crushed to death by the house concaving

when i was younger i used to be such a disheveled mess, now i'm still a mess but at least i'm pretty

1st of september is like the new year to me

august accoutrements

we're really really reaching for the alliteration at this point. do family reunions just always suck or is it just me? anywayssss after ncs i went with my mum and brother to have a little reunion almost with my mums side (her siblings/ my uncles and aunts and all their kids/ my annoying chaotic mess of cousins) it was okay for like a week but icl i want to go home. i haven't done anything for my a level transition work, i brought my art equipment but i can't get it out due to all the kids so i'll have to just grind it all when i go home. haven't done a lot of sixth form shopping, bought a few cozy tops for the colder weather (a dark blue sweater, a chunky knit pink jumper, a giant oversized cream sweater which i swear is the softest thing i have ever touched, and a brown and blue oversized flannel, as well as a ribbed dark grey top) i plan on going out and buying more bottoms and such later until next time Amina

my goal in life is to be noticed by @yourfavwolf on tumblr.

how did i end up non stop smiling over stupid crushing quotes on pinterest and ended up with a private board, with over a hundred pins and almost every single one mentions something about his eyes or laugh or smile.

messing up every relationship with another human being i have out of self hatred check

god it's 4am, but you know when you're about to give up on something and you give one last shot and it turns out pretty good? well yeah :)

i love and hate having a crush, idk why my heart feels heavy. like im not that good at speaking to people irl but i'm crazy over text, but with him i'm so nervous i can't even do that? its a different kind of torture - and then the few times everything goes well though i'm super happy but then also scared to death of saying something wrong so i pretend to fall asleep or be busy or something like that. it's weird how i feel like i'm barely hanging on to composure and he's nonchalant and uncaring

i love and hate having a crush, idk why my heart feels heavy. like im not that good at speaking to people irl but i'm crazy over text, but with him i'm so nervous i can't even do that? its a different kind of torture - and then the few times everything goes well though i'm super happy but then also scared to death of saying something wrong so i pretend to fall asleep or be busy or something like that. it's weird how i feel like i'm barely hanging on to composure and he's nonchalant and uncaring

manga lashes !!!!

discovering you were someones camp crush is such an honor? like you saw me at all stages throughout the day and you were still attracted to me? best compliment ever what

yk now that im thinking about it

ncs really was just love island but without the luxuries of living in habitable place