3d Relapse - Blog Posts

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 💅

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~ focaccia in cheese + chicken and egg’s salade +1 ice Americano Diner~ Ayam Goreng Rempah + Tofu and Tempe + ice Jeruk

Total:~ 1800 aaaaand… I feel sick lovely

The worst part is probably that I wanted to 3@t more today, for my m3@t@b day and I couldn’t.. At least I tried

ANYWAY

Okay soooo, didn’t do it. I tried, really… I even ordered some føød but I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat it. I really wanted to achieve that but I feel so sick right now

Wanna know the funniest part? Even with this potential diner I wouldn’t have reached the 1800...

Okay so it’s been 3 weeks since I started and I think it’s time to add a “m3t@b day” to the routine First as a challenge, to prove myself that I’m in control and that I won’t f*€k everything up this time Second, because I don’t want to damage to much my m3t@bøl!sm and g@!n everything back just because of a wrong day And last but not least, as an experiment to see how it will affects my bød¥ (did I g@!n3d, løst or st@gn@t3d) But honestly I’m supposed to 3@t more than 2000 A DAY ?? and I really don’t know how I’ll try tho, it cannot be that hard

Okay so it’s been 3 weeks since I started and I think it’s time to add a “m3t@b day” to the routine First as a challenge, to prove myself that I’m in control and that I won’t f*€k everything up this time Second, because I don’t want to damage to much my m3t@bøl!sm and g@!n everything back just because of a wrong day And last but not least, as an experiment to see how it will affects my bød¥ (did I g@!n3d, løst or st@gn@t3d) But honestly I’m supposed to 3@t more than 2000 A DAY ?? and I really don’t know how I’ll try tho, it cannot be that hard

OMG OMG OMG

-3 on the sc@l3 ??? In a week!! And I didn’t count the liquids that I drank this morning (~1L)

I know it’s probably a lot of water but I still feel so happy it’s going down, KEEP GOING DOWN (to myself)

DAY 8

“I r3l@psed” Afraid AND ashamed

DAY 7

At the time, it was for the attention of other, I was craving validation. I wanted to stop people jokes about the way I looked and getting some kind of revenge I guess (I wasn’t fat nor skinny they were just mean + bød¥ d¥smørph!@ didn’t help) Now it’s more like an obsession helping to stop overthinking and numbing my feelings. I don’t do that for people, actually I don’t want them to notice nor asking questions, the “looking” part is just additional motivation because it’s just not the main purpose this time And actually it’s working, I’m feeling less miserable than 2~3 weeks ago so happy 🧚✨

DAY 5

TW toxic

I used to watch a lot of mukbang content before but I don’t anymore I still watch spsi vs spsk tho (over and over again haha) and now I watch W-H (iykyk), they are really toxic in my opinion, I don’t like them and it’s scary to think that teenagers and children can end up watching they video (that why I won’t give any other info) BUT let’s say that it’s my m3@nspø of the day

Especially if they give you the nonchalant treatment

Like you thought I would chase after you?? B!tc# I don’t have enough time for that lmao I have to be sk!n! Before summer wtf

Forget men I literally just want to look good in clothes

idk what’s going on but IM DATING MY CRUSH?? and idk how but that’s progressively making me eat less bc when i’m with him at lunch and in class i don’t wanna eat around him 😻

i love this sm i’m getting skinner for him so he loves me more

i just tried on THE cutest outfit and i want to wear it so bad but i’m too fat!!

(the top is from brandy and it’s getting tight around my arms kms)

so new motiv bc it’s literally giving lana del rey summer in the best way and SOMEBODYS too fat to wear it.

sigh i think i’m gonna try omad this week

hey guys sorry i was gone for a bit

update time! + venting so tw?

so basically i starved and now i’m back binging and i hate myself! there’s also outside factors i’m not rlly gonna mention affecting me rn but life is jst taking a toll on me

my only comfort is either not eating at all or eating my whole house. ITS FUCKING APRIL AND IM NOT SKINNY..

i don’t think i can bring myself to step on the scale but yeah..

lil update ig thanks for hearing me rant - i hope you’ve had a great day 🩷

WHY IS MY COPING MECHANISIM BINGING SOMEONE TELL ME TO NOT EAT PLEASE.

intro since i’m gonna try to be active🎀

hi!! im new to posting on edblr but not new to being on it 🩷

STATS!

HEIGHT: 5’2

SW: 131

CW: 118

GW 1: 120✅ GW 2 115 ❌ UGW 110-107 ❌

any tips are appreciated🤍

anyone know how to get back into ur honeymoon phase i cant stop binging…

Breakfast

Broccoli: 30

Asparagus: 15

2 eggs: 150

3 pc bacon: 90

Coffee: 35

= 320

Im trying to mix up my days of small items as a meal / high restriction with high volume low cal items as meals because i noticed after a day where i feel like i ate way more and my stomach feels fuller i feel like its easier to skip meals or have something small the next day, and vs. & im afraid if i do the same level of restriction every day im going to binge bad

Hello <3<3<3

✧༺♥༻∞

24, was in slight "remission" for a couple years, round 2 and I have more motivation than ever

CW: 145 (I think)

LW: 118 💔

GW 1: 130

GW 2 : 125

UGW: 118 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

(5'7")

feb 2025 - waist: 26" thighs: 22"

goals for when Im finally comfortable in my body

belly button piercing!!

more tattoos

I feel embarrassed that im at a healthy weight, I feel like im meant to be smaller, the dysmorphia is insane

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ˚ ༘♡ ♥·˚ ₊˚ˑ🕷*.·:·.✧ ♥ ✧.·:·.**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ