Poor Chuuya - Blog Posts

This is the type of car I imagine Chuuya would drive

Does Dazai actually hate chuuya's hair/eyes or is he just very deep in denial? His reactions have really gotten me thinking..

Well, he's definitely not a fan of the combo. I mean, how would you feel if the person you're trying to torment also happened to have strikingly vibrant hair and gorgeous eyes? I'd be fighting demons every day trying to look past their features lol

Chuuya: Thank you for inviting me to mackerel's wedding today, Kouyou.

Kouyou: Yeah no problem.

Chuuya: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Dazai marrying?

Kouyou: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Dazai!

Chuuya: Wait, what?

Mori: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.

Kouyou: For a week! No, a month!

Hirotsu: Here’s some money, make it two!

Dazai, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?

Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Dazai: And loud!

Dazai: And grumpy!

Dazai: And short!

Dazai: And oblivious to reality!

Chuuya:

Dazai, whispering to Chuuya's ear during a pm meeting: I'm sure that no one here has as big of a dick as you.

Chuuya: WTF?

Dazai: Sorry, I misspoke. I meant no one here is as big of a dick as you.

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Sure...

Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.

Dazai: I dare you to marry me.

Chuuya: No. I'm not falling for that idiot.

Dazai: Then I win.

Chuuya: What? No you don’t. I’ll marry the hell out of you. You’re officially my wife now. You can’t beat me like that.

Atsushi: Dazai, have you ever thought of getting married ?

Dazai: *gay panic* I'm pregnant!

ada: What?

Dazai: It's Chuuya's.

ada: WHAT?

*meanwhile in the pm*

Chuuya, feeling a disturbance in the force: He said something that will get me into trouble, I can feel it!

Dazai: Babe!

Chuuya: Don’t call me that!

Dazai: Chibi, honey, dear, love, sunshine, slug-

Chuuya: Dazai-

Dazai: Darling, hat rack, sweetheart, my God of fire-

Chuuya: Dazai no-

Dazai: Mi amore, the light of my life, my chihuahua, my doggie, my baby, angel, baby boy, baby girl-

Dazai: My petit mafia, shortie, sweetie-

Chuuya: Are you done?

Dazai: My beloved, the best executive, the anchor of my universe, the loml, my other half, my soulmate..

Chuuya:

Dazai: Ok, now I’m done.

Chuuya: Ok what did you want?

Dazai:

Dazai: Oh I forgot.

Dazai: Now I'll arrange our security.

Atsushi: Why?

Dazai: The mission is dangerous and we're hot. The enemy will want us for our info and our boddies.

Atsushi: Our info maybe...

Dazai: Speak for yourself kitten...

Dazai: Now I'm calling the only man who can fuck me.

Atsushi: What???😨

Dazai, calling Chuuya: I mean, who can protect me...us...

Atsushi: Ugh. 🤦‍♂️

Chuuya, picking up: What now?

Dazai: Well hello my big dick chibi.

Chuuya: What

Atsushi: the

Chuuya: fuck

Atsushi: Dazai!

Dazai: Language everyone!

Chuuya: The mission might be over, but as long as you're around, we'll always get into trouble.

Dazai, happily: Thanks Chuu!!!

Chuuya: Not a compliment.

Dazai: 😔

Chuuya, during a mission: How are we gonna get out of this?

Dazai: Don't worry, I have a plan!

Chuuya: *sighs* Ah, the four words society fears most.

Chuuya: *gets down on one knee*

Dazai, also getting down on his knees: What are we looking for?

Chuuya, who had been reaching for the ring in his pocket: Dude...

Dazai, being captured by the enemy who is dragging him away : Let me go and I'll pay you whatever you want.

Dazai: Fuck I forgot my wallet!

Dazai: *turns back to look at Chuuya*

Dazai: Chuuya, pay him whatever he wants !!!

Dazai: If you tell anyone that we kissed I promise I will make your 2024 a living nightmare.

Chuuya: How is that any different from now?

Atsushi: Chuuya kissed you?

Dazai, staring woefully out of his window: Aha...

Atsushi: And you said thank you…?

Dazai: Yeah...

Atsushi: Well that was very polite of you.

*meanwhile*

Chuuya: Thank you?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?

Kouyou: He’s stupid Chuuya you know that!