Suicde - Blog Posts
No me mató,solamente dijo que algo murió en mi ese día.
I'm so tired of feeling nothing. I'm not sad nor happy. It's just... Emptiness?
I wish I was hated in all my social media, so I could cut myself, not thinking about that someone is caring for me.
;; veneno
Podría describirse como un pozo sin fondo o como un gran vacío que te absorbe por completo, donde sobra la soledad y falta el oxígeno. O podría describirse como un veneno que te va corrompiendo desde el interior, completamente en silencio y en toda su magnitud, para clavar un puñal en tu pecho y no por la espalda, es todo menos cobarde. Además llega de forma inesperada, en cualquier momento y lugar, mientras que uno se deja llevar por la marea que pasó de ser tranquila a ser un tsunami arrasador.
Puede transcurrir mucho tiempo hasta que nos demos cuenta que el vacío nos consumió de tal manera que ya somos parte de el. Es imposible darse cuenta donde empieza y donde termina. Pasar tanto tiempo sintiéndose como nada, eventualmente te transforma en solo eso, alguien más que quedó atascado en aquella nebulosa donde la esperanza y la felicidad no son bienvenidas.
Ahora solo hay recuerdos de quienes eramos antes, abran paso y den la bienvenida a su nuevo yo. Aquel que atravesó la nebulosa, que logró sobrevivir al tsunami o aquel que sigue siendo parte de el pero nadie lo nota, al fin y al cabo todo puede ser causado por una mala noche.
¿Hay algo que una pastilla, una botella o una buena distracción no puedan curar?
Bueno, creo yo que si, absolutamente todo y nada.
Y al fin nos convertimos en lo que más temíamos pero nunca dijimos.
Ahora somos todo y nada, absolutamente nada. ¿Una totalidad de nada o nada de totalidad? En ambos casos, estamos perdidos.
28012018
I wish I could vent to someone... Or at least be hugged. I can't I'm turning into a whimpering mess, all covered in snot, tears, saliva and feeling nauseous. I hate myself
I want to commit suicide.
WHY CAN'T I FUCKING CUT MYSELF?? WHY CAN'T I SLICE MY SKIN AGAIN LIKE I USED TO?! I'M GETTING FUCKING TIRED OF THESE DISABILITIES, SEIZURES AND OTHER SHIT. I JUST WANNA BE HEALTHY OR ALLOWED TO MUTILATE MY BODY. I WANT TO HAVE THE CONTROL I LOST.
Fuck recovery. I wanna cut.
I want to kill myself because of being disabled. I'm a fucking mess right now. I feel grief, frustration and hopelessness. I wish I could cut myself again.
WAR IS OVER
The fact that something could go wrong, and I'd have committed su!c!de already, scares me shitless. I have no fucking idea how I managed to not commit with constant su!c!dal thoughts, but I've managed.
HOLY HELL, FINALLY A MONTH WITHOUT SELF-HARM, DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS, AND URGE TO SU!C!DE, INTERESTING, WILL I GET 2 MONTHS???
People are being "Vent to me if you want!" and then block you when you did so
Guys, I couldn't kill myself, please forgive me for causing distress and worrying y'all:(
Also sorry for people who expected/wanted me to kms, I just couldn't... I'm really sorry, hope I could do it soon
I wanna comm!t su!c!de on my birthday. I'll be free. I'll get rid of the pain. And when I do it, everyone will be happy.
I'm sorry mom for being a bad daughter. I'm sorry for the bad grades, but now... You don't need to worry about them<3
19.03.2024.
TW: Bl00d!!
Don't report, just block if you're sensitive towards sh and bl00d. Hope you're okay, because usually these kinds of posts are watching people who are struggling with sh.
Help your child before it's too late.
(The bl00d looks so faky tbh. Probably because my phone is making everything brighter:/)
My birthday will be in 2 days, yet I still have suicidal thoughts, and desire to cut myself:/
Never expected to stay clean(?) for 14 days... Well, how to say clean.... If I can't cut, I'll beat, bite, and burn myself, just because it gives me more pleasure. And I bit myself so hard that there are bruises left after that
How many degrees do I need to make a first degree burn? Just trying new methods of sh!
I wanna try weeds to be honest, and idc that I'm just 13, I know that I'll k!ll myself, so, I could smoke for as long as I need to. But... I haven't got money for it... I wanna be law abiding, but I feel like I'm gonna comm!t soon...
I'm so sad about the fact that my knife can't cut me deep because it starts to hurt so much... I wish it didn't hurt, so I could cut myself to fat!!!
I'm already looking forward to cut myself and just the thought of cutting makes me all flustered!!
I wish, one day on maths lesson I could stand up, and stab myself!!!
I'm f#cked up.
I'm tired, I'm tired of everything. All my hobbies became a daily routine, and I don't feel anything towards them. My friends started to avoid me after my vents, and I completely understand this. I'm tired of school, and I haven't got any straight to just get up or change clothes after school. All I think about is s3lf-h@rm and how much I want to commit su!c!de. I feel like my life is trying to force me to do it. I feel like it'll happen. And I know that I will commit su!c!de.
I was about to jump off the window right now, but remembered that I'm living on the 3rd floor, so even if I jump, I'll survive. But this window is almost telling me to commit su!c!de!!
I tried to k!ll myself by cvtting my veins, but the saddest thing is that the knife didn't reach them.
TW/CW: SU!C!DE
Can't describe how much I want to commit su!c!de. Just the thought of my body laying in the snow, which soaked with my bl00d, while my phone recording me and thousands of people could see how I struggled makes my desire only bigger. Looks like I'll end up jumping off the roof... Anyways who cares...
TW: CW: SU!C!DE PLAN.
Okay, okay... I think I've suffered enough, so... This is how I wanna end my life.
Firstly, I've decided that I wanna jump off the roof, because this seems the best way to do it. I already found a high-rise building, so I just need to come in, and when I wait for people to open the door for me, I'll start a livestream. Before I jump, I'll cvt myself, and I'll cvt so much that I'll be a piece of meat. After that I'll jump off the roof, hoping that someone will remember me. I'll also wear my favorite clothes, because if die I'd prefer to die only in it.
I love the fact that with this thing I could cut myself at school and nobody will care!!♡♡
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