Tw: Death - Blog Posts
Tw/cw: suicide, all caps in parts of our post
Ok, this is a great post, love it, thank you.
BUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING; TAG OR ADD THE TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE!! SOME BEINGS NEED TO BE ABLE TO FILTER POSTS WITH THAT OUT SO PLEASE ACTUALLY FUCKING TAG IT!!
As I said, it's a great post, and we love it, but still, tags of this kind are very important, so please tag any trigger warnings, especially suicide.
- Shay (They/it)
queer people of all kinds. i am looking you in the eyes. do not fucking kill yourself. are you listening to me it will be okay. it will get better. i am shaking you by the shoulders do. not. fucking. do. it. you have so much to keep going for and so many people who love you. the cost of the present will not outweigh the life ahead of you. i love you. chin up or down keep walking you'll get there. we will pull you back up onto your feet should you fall. i love you
Poem number whatever, lol.
Older poem, wrote this a while ago.
Tw: Death, and none others that I can think of.
The Three Phrases
Life is unfair
Time flies
You love and you lose
That's the three phrases
You need to learn
To understand
Life isn't fair
Good people have bad things happen
Bad people have good things happen
Time flies
It feels slow at times
But it flies really fast
You love and you lose
You never know when someone
You love will die
Life is unfair
Time flies
You love and you lose
Time for more bad memories from my life as Zuki. I have debated about posting this a few times but I think I need to, to get it off my chest or whatever you wanna say.
Tw/cw: (failed) suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, self harm, death of a family member, grief, and abuse. Let me know if I missed any tw/cw.
There were times right after I turned 14 years old as Zuki (my aunt, who I looked up to so much, died on my 14th birthday so yeah) that I ended up going to the top of my middle school building [I couldn't fly at the time] and was debating jumping from it, I never did.
But a few days after my 14th birthday, all the grief and anger and shit I felt from my aunt's death (she was a hero, and she died fighting some villains) had gotten to be too much for me to deal with and I went to a part of the middle school that pretty much no one went to and pretty much everyone wouldn't have cared about me anyways.
Anyway, I went to the secluded place of the school and I had a knife in my backpack, I always carried it with me, not only because of self-harm tendencies but also because it was a gift from my aunt who died. I thought I was alone, cause who in their right mind would be in this part of that school? (Neither of us there were in our right mind, so I guess that answers that, lol).
Anyway, I took the knife and cut pretty deep on my arms and legs. I had put down something, I think it was my jacket, to try and make less of a mess with the blood cause I didn't wanna cause too much more trouble, lol. But someone who I didn't really know well (I kinda wish it stayed that way, but whatever) came and helped me to the nurse's room. If that nurse could have let me just die, she would've, but she didn't wanna get in trouble with my older sibling, lol.
Anyways, that nurse just did the bare minium, so I wouldn't die. I talked a bit with the girl who saved me. She seemed nice (seemed is the key word there). After the school day ended, it was like only an hour or so cause I did this during my free period, which was my last 'class' of the day. After the bell rang, I walked to a little medical building that [mainly] was for those with no quirks, hated quirks, etc. So because of this, it didn't have a mandatory reporting thing, which was good for me, cause I didn't want anyone else to know that I tried to kill myself and failed. But yeah, the lady who helped me then was very nice and I would continue to go there when I needed medical stuff.
The girl who saved me, about a week or so later, came up to me and said she liked me romantically. While I am (was?) cupioromantic, I didn't know that at the time, so I thought I liked her romantically as well, so I told her that and we started dating.
It was great at first, but after about 2 weeks or so of dating, she started to hurt me, while I did technically know this wasn't good, I had believed it had to be different here and that she was still good and everything (she wasn't, the abusive asshole).
Eventually, when I was like 15 and ½ years old or something like that, I realized I didn't feel romantic attraction at all and told my 'girlfriend' and broke up with her. It didn't go well.
She ended up stabbing me a few times, shit happened. Afterwards, I went to that same medical building I mentioned before and they helped me not die.
Eventually, I realized that my ex was probably only with me cause she wanted someone easy to hurt and shit. Idk just probably wasn't love from her end.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | I could go more into detail about probably all of this but I'm not gonna right now
[TW: Death and shit that comes with that, idk maybe more? If you find any more things that should be in this trigger warning pls tell me.]
Also, shit is happening in my life rn. I recently [on September 11th] lost my cousin, she died and we aren't sure how exactly yet. So, yeah. Death is fucking weird and I don't think I process it normally (AuDHD). So I may end up not posting for a while or might end up posting like every day.
Just sharing so ya'll know what's going on if I disappear for a while [even though I would likely do that even without this shit happening].
We aren't sure when the funeral thing is happening yet, I slightly hope it's soon so I can see my family, I don't live by that side of the family, sadly. Probably gonna end up missing like a day of college, but whatever, my family [my pack] is more important to me.
My cousin left behind a son. He is a kid. He's younger than I was when my mom in this life died. [I was like 16 when that happened, and I won't be sharing how old my 2nd cousin is]. So I really wanna see that side of my family, so I can try and be there for him. He's gonna need people there for him, and if I could without getting in trouble, I would drop out of college rn to be around him while he is going through this. (Protective wolf/dog instincts?)
There's just a lot of shit going on rn with my life, I wish it would stop for a bit.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe/ze) :((
[We is referring to my family, btw]
I was about to jump off the window right now, but remembered that I'm living on the 3rd floor, so even if I jump, I'll survive. But this window is almost telling me to commit su!c!de!!
I tried to k!ll myself by cvtting my veins, but the saddest thing is that the knife didn't reach them.
TW: CW: SU!C!DE PLAN.
Okay, okay... I think I've suffered enough, so... This is how I wanna end my life.
Firstly, I've decided that I wanna jump off the roof, because this seems the best way to do it. I already found a high-rise building, so I just need to come in, and when I wait for people to open the door for me, I'll start a livestream. Before I jump, I'll cvt myself, and I'll cvt so much that I'll be a piece of meat. After that I'll jump off the roof, hoping that someone will remember me. I'll also wear my favorite clothes, because if die I'd prefer to die only in it.
I'm alive. But a part of me, doesn't want to be
Good recommendation, P (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。
Insane! Parappa wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day!
"Enjoy this day to the fullest with those you love the most…!"
"You don't know when they will leave your life…"
Here's to the wonderful years, and the legacy of the blood god that shall never die.
I was never really all that into the SMP fandom or MCYT as a whole, but my god am i going to miss Techno. He was one of the good ones.
Thankyou for everything Technoblade, you will never die in our hearts. May you always be remembered, now and for all time.
You will be missed.
Hey so I’ve avoided having to do this before, but I need to actually ask for help, for once. The last couple months sucker punched me kinda hard and I need to keep being able to make rent, so if I could get some help (whether in exchange for art or not) I’d greatly appreciate it.
I set up a “Ko Fi” for this, you can either drop a little in a jar, or buy slots of various commission types.
As for the parts about gamedev work: I’ll honestly need an actual job when I’m back from my trip, so if anyone is looking for an artist who can do concepts, spritework, 3D models, so on… send me a line, I’m in the market right now.
mail for work talk: kitetfrogspond at gmail dot com kofi page: https://ko-fi.com/kitetfrog commission listings: https://ko-fi.com/kitetfrog/commissions
i saw this cool thing and decided when i die i want to be buried in a capsule and a tree be placed over my remains. the capsule will decompose and my body will break down into nutrients which feed the soil and the roots and over time the tree will grow into a living memorial grave it sounds fun plus i love trees
These days there are legal systems in place for adopting an adult, even for adopting someone out of adult foster care (like someone could probably adopt Genie Wiley.) That's probably the closest example to what they did.
…how does adopting an adult even work..? I’m a little thrown off by that part, but regardless it seems to have been the best thing that could’ve happened for Horace. He sounds lovely, and it seems a shame the world couldn’t have had him in it for longer.
I honestly don't know. Horace was a ward of the state, as his family had handed over all rights in 1921. Unfortunately, my grandparents and my uncle who adopted him have all died so the specifics are unavailable to me.
TW: death
a freshman at my school died this morning, like they had a stroke/heart attack/something at school. my friend literally performed cpr on them since they're cpr certified to help. they got taken to the hospital but unfortunately they didn't survive which is so terrifying
i don't know who it was but rest in peace🕊️
what do you think of some people disliking mindy jackson's mom?
Well, I guess I can understand why they would dislike her.
She gave her son immortality that he didn’t ask for, because she was scared.
I headcanon that she might possibly have Thantophobia. Because, I have it.
Thantophobia is both the fear of losing someone you love, and death.
I don’t know if anyone else does this, but, I make up some fantasy-like situations in my head.
I remember this one thought, about me giving up my soul, just so I could live forever, and using magic spells to keep my friends and family alive. Y’know…..Immortality!…
I don’t like the thought of death, or losing someone.
But, back to Jack and Mindy! Seeing things from both of their perspectives….Jack is gonna have to watch all of his friends grow older and die someday. And, he’ll be alone, well, unless he finds new friends, but, then they’ll get old and die too. It would just be the same thing, over and over, and over again. Unless, Jack has immortal friends.
Mindy was scared of losing her son to death. And, honestly, who wouldn’t be scared of that? Losing anyone that you love to death, it’s the worst feeling in the world. While, I don’t agree that it was okay for her to give him immortality, I understand why she did it. People make bad choices when they’re mad, scared, sad, and stressed. And, at the time, she just wasn’t okay.
Even if she DID give him a choice on if he wanted to be immortal, Jack wouldn’t know what he would want. I don’t think I would know what I want if I was given a choice to never die. It’s all so complicated….
The thought of dying is awful.
But, the thought of living forever isn’t any better.
I guess, some people are just scared of both. Scared to live, scared to die. But, y’know, it’s just something that we have to deal with i guess.
I’VE BEEN TALKING WAY TOO LONG! I’M JUST GONNA STOP!
Sorry for putting Hetalia on your dashboard in 2024, but this has been vaguely on my mind for, like, five years.
Content warnings for implied animal death, blood, and talks of death
(It’s a comic of Luke and Arianna talking about the cycle of life)
"She looks so beautiful in her grave..." ____________ Master Neloth's former apprentice. I pushed the idea that someone had an unrequited love for her a bit further. She looks as if she is sleeping, with lips almost as if she's waiting for a kiss... But she's dead. And that hand has just opened her grave looks suspicious. ____________ I've sketched it while listening to Cradle of Filth, hence it's so sick.
source
On death. Again.
On december 2020 I wrote about my grandma’s passing. I’ve just read the post again and it says that “it’s the first time someone close to me dies”.
oh, well.
Next thursday will be the first month anniversary of one of my classmate’s death. It’s the fourth death of the year. So far it’s been two illnesses, one suicide and one accident.
He wasn’t my friend, I didn’t know a lot about him, except that he would have been a much better engenieer than I’ll ever be. I think we were going to graduate at the same time. It’s not fair.
I found out right outside the lab where I saw him for the last time. We were there with the rest of our group the day they told us classes were cancelled because of covid. We cheered and laughed and said good bye and see you soon.
We were not scared. We didn’t know.
I mean, of course we were in the same group chats and online classes for the next couple years, and even teamed up in some projects, but I never saw him again.
It was an accident. He was riding his bike. It was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to graduate together. We were all supposed to make it.
I feel guilty because I chose not to go to the funeral, or the ceremony, or the homage. I didn’t tell his family and friends I was sorry for their loss. And I was. I am. I just really didn’t want to go. I would have felt totally out of place. I was not his family, I was not his friend. I barely knew him. And it still hurt.
It still hurts.
Classes start again next week, and he is not going to be there. We are going to sit there and take the lessons and do the homework and listen to the teachers and complain about all of it. And he is not going to be there.
We are going to graduate without him, and all the good things he could have made in the world are never gonna happen. All because of a fucking accident. It’s not fair. It’s just not.
I don’t know why this death struck me more than the other three. Maybe because it affects me directly. Maybe cause he was my age. Maybe cause it was so sudden. Maybe cause now I’m scared someone I love will walk out the door and I’ll never see them again.
There. I said it. I’m scared. I’m really fucking scared. I can’t do anything to stop things like this from happening, and it’s absolutely fucking terrifying.
That’s all I have to say. for now.
On... death? grief? pain? not sure.
So...
I’ve never actually written a post here before, even though I’ve been meaning to for a while, but now I have too many thoughts and I need to say some things out loud and I don’t really trust my voice. That leaves me with writing them. Maybe this will stay in the drafts. Maybe I want it to stay in the drafts. I don’t know. Now that I’ve finished writing, I feel like I have to post it. The drafts are not ¨out loud¨.
If you want to read just know that it’s not happy at all.
My grandma died today.
And I’m not crying. Not yet, at least.
It´s not that I didn’t love her, I just didn’t see her very often; we live in different states. But now I’ll never see her again. Not in christmas, nor in summer vacation. Never.
I mean, she was very sick already, we knew this was coming, but now it happened. It’s the first time someone close to me dies. I don´t know how this works. I’ve never even had pets, I have no precedent for dealing with this.
This afternoon my dad called my mom and asked her to tell me. He didn’t want to tell me himself. He’s never been good with emotions and stuff. Now I have to decide what to do. I obviously want to go, the funeral is tomorrow. But the pandemic is getting really bad there. They don’t allow more than 20 people at the ceremony. I’m not sure I should be in those 20. As I said, I didn’t visit very often anyway. Then again, how can I not go? I have to say goodbye. I couldn’t say goodbye. But what if I go and get covid? and spread it to my mom when I come back? what if, by attending to a funeral, I cause another? maybe my own?
I can´t do that, not when the vaccine is so close, not when we’ve managed to stay safe for so long.
But I just want to go. I feel like I owe it to her. It’s risky, it’s impulsive, it’s all the things I usually wouldn’t do. I’m confused. I’m sad. I’m still not crying. why??
My grandma died yesterday.
2:38 p.m.: Still not crying, but my chest is heavy. I feel weak. I’m not hungry.
10:42 p.m.: I’m... fine???? I’m going. Tomorrow. I’ll see how it goes.
My grandma died 4 days ago.
I’m back home. It was... fine, I guess. Apparently everyone agrees that it was time, she had to go, it was for the best.
Her last moments were with my uncle, he is a retired doctor. a gynecologist. It is sad and somehow ironic that he, whose job was basically keeping mothers alive and well, was the one holding her when she died. He said he’s never had a patient die in his arms before.
Yet another example of life’s dark sense of humor is that my dad’s birthday will also be from now on the anniversary of his mother’s funeral.
So I’m home, and I’ll stay locked for a couple weeks and pray that my mom and I didn’t get infected. Wich sucks, becasuse just a few hours ago, we recieved notice that my other grandma has cancer. And my mom can’t go visit her to the hospital, because I wanted to go visit my dad’s family and dragged her with me. Great. This year only gets better. I hate it. This has to stop now. Please. Please.
I think I’ll end here. I have nothing left to say. I am going to post it. Leaving this in the drafts feels like trying to yell with my mouth shut.
Yo Kai watch OC
Posting this because I have a YW brainrot, ( just a little bit ), here are my OC's from my YW AU(?). I'm going to list them one by one, also with some explanations
-------------------
Starting with my yo kai oc, Corellia she's a Fleshborne Yo Kai and Nadia's yo Kai partner. She's once a illustrator that died in the forest and became a Fleshborne turned Yo Kai. She's a kind yet aggressive woman
She was created because I wanted to do something silly and goofy,
You may be thinking, ""she looks just like Keroro/ or a Orikero oc from Sgt Frog/Keroro Gunso, why is she look like that and why is she here???""
Well... It might have to do with two reasons, 1. She's a " joke" oc, 2. It's based on my childhood .
before I was introduced to YW, I was a Sgt frog fan in 2014, and by the time 2015 I became a YW fan. After that I design her to more human, but years later I designed her based on my fav cartoons/anime that time which also hints in her design:
Hair- Hatsune Miku and Kirlia (Pokemon)
Appearance - Keroro (Sgt Frog)
Outfit - Gai and Miyo (Running Man Animation)
Her name, Corellia, wasn't named after the planet from Star Wars, it's just the coincidence I didn't notice. Her just came from Core (the Earth's center) and Kirlia's (core-llia, just doubled the l's)
And now Nadia Marisol (Kiko Takashi)
Nadia Marisol (or Kiko Takashi ) is a 16 year old orphan girl who lives in an apartment, she's just a silly girl who loves to have fun and don't want to do any school work that's disinterest of hard for her
She met Corellia in an abandoned building at night, there the two of them become friends and Corellia does the things that Nadia lacks in her life, cooking meals for her, helping her homework, and overall just a big sister/aunt figure
oooo I'm being cringeeee
I hope you guys like my beast because I love it (maybe too much)
I think I was a little too happy when I started drawing this many weeks ago
I'm sad now.
im going to miss him sm
Don’t let them bury me as someone I’m not.
Me: idk that message just came across A Way, the vibes feel a little off
My brain: You said something to upset them. They hate you and wish you were dead. You should be ashamed of yourself for even speaking
Me: oh fuck you’re right time to implode
"what do when the rsd hits bc rn i feel like dying" wikihow ?? /cj /u