Understanding - Blog Posts
What To Do If You Catch Me Venting In A Conversation:
- liSTEN.
- Try to calm me down.
- DO NOT say that my emotions/things I am talking about are invalid.
- Put yourself in my shoes and try to see it from my perspective.
- Don't. Leave.
- Try and understand.
* I'll probably tell you sorry the next day or so if I find I'm overreacting. I'll probs just say I'm sorry in general.
"If you're uncomfortable, I can do it for/with you."
This is probably the most understanding, comforting, and meaningful thing you can say to someone with anxiety (or anyone in general) when they need help. Whether it’s simply talking to someone for/with them or helping them give a speech or performance.
Don’t underestimate the value of your words.
i think ive realized that true understanding settles into you. like when you truly understand, and not just say that you do, but when you truly understand, it comes with that oh moment. when what would've previously lingered, won't weigh on you anymore. and this feeling, it is as beautiful as it is rare.
“And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in.”
- Jane Austen
- Kavya Dixit
Mary Oliver, from long life: essays and other writings
Old dogs CAN learn new tricks!
It's fun. When we're young we get shoved in many directions by those who are supposed to be "teaching" us. We don't realize just how broken most of those folks are and to be fair, they usually don't have a clue either. As we grow and experience life, we get shoved around by reality and forced to play by certain rules because well, things don't slow down long enough in many cases to realize there are other options. Here's where I giggle and say again... broken humans creating broken humans. But, if we're lucky... there comes a point where we can take a breath, look around, see just how twisty things, situations, and people really are.... and begin to rethink how we want to navigate our way through the chaos. That's where I'm at. It's messy. I make mistakes. I wander around clueless a lot. I flop onto the floor and just wait for things to give me less of a headache. I try new things. I laugh and cross some things off my try, or try again, lists. And sometimes... I squeal like a hyper six year old and giggle bounce trying to show anyone who will pay attention my most recent accomplishment... even if sometimes it seems MUCH bigger to me than it would to ANYONE else. hahaha The important part here is that I'm learning a LOT about who I am, who I was sort of forced to pretend to be, and how the actual me can function more smoothly in the world of twisty humans. I'm beginning to understand glitches, adjust my priorities, find new ways of seeking the options I want, and having plenty of fun in the process. I really wish I could have done this when my brain and body were a bit more... cooperative but hey... take it when ya get it right? heh Anyway... I've shared. I hope you're having some fun in the little glimmery moments of life. Laters.
Truth?
Just a quick reminder that people can say just about anything, that doesn't mean it's correct. Videos and photos are edited all the time. News is HEAVILY controlled so as to only share what the company wants you to "know". Even if it's popular, it might not be safe, real, or a general good idea. Rumors spread faster than you can imagine and what you hear, might not even be the rumor that was actually started, let alone any bit of truth. And remember... everyone sees things differently and there's usually a LOT more to every story.
Print this out for a free frosty at your local gas station. Expires now.
The many faces of loss
I always get so grumbly with humans that think loss is a simple thing. A death, job change, relationship end, and many other forms of loss can have lasting, and often hidden (even to the one dealing with it) effects. So many people focus on the short term handling of the loss, or the lingering obvious issues and seem to think they know how the person should or shouldn't be acting. It's complete ridiculousness. NOBODY has ANY right to tell ANYONE how they should feel, or how the loss impacts them in their own realities. EVERY SINGLE CREATURE deals with each loss in their own ways. Some of the effects can be dealt with quickly and easily, some make permanent changes and will never be fully understood. NEVER.... EVER... let ANYONE tell you that you are somehow broken, or messed up, for how a loss impacts your own thoughts. Those who are trying to help will usually offer support, reassurance, patience, and space. If the person you think is there to help is pressuring you, making you feel like something is wrong with you, or is irritated by how things are effecting you... they are clearly NOT as helpful as they want to believe they are. If someone doesn't understand and is a bit inconvenienced because of your handling of a loss, that... is completely understandable... BUT... if they allow that to become an attitude towards you... THEY are the ones with a problem... NOT YOU! This human experience does not come with complete and foolproof instructions. We each have to figure things out in our own ways, no matter how many others try to tell us they have all the answers. So, if you're out there, and you're dealing with something, and you're feeling a bit beaten.... just remember.... you got this. There are those of us out there that understand it's complicated, it takes time, and USUALLY it's a lot more messy than anyone cares to admit. Just keep picking at it. You'll get where you need to be with it, if you really want to. Believe. ... Much love.
While I do understand the message they are trying to express, I could not help but giggle as my toddler brain went.... since when did being in a wheelchair become a gender??
And yes, I am aware of how bothered some humans are by signs like this but, because of that very mentality, I appreciate that more places are offering... safe spaces... to perform bodily functions. Bad human behavior comes in all types of packages. Making someone feel unsafe, or unwelcome simply because of their personal (not dangerous to anyone else) lifestyle decisions is not a very nice thing so yes... I fully support spaces like this and the businesses that have them.
● The fact is, we often fail from the aspect of our greatest humanistic ability to build, communicate, and comprehend through the languages we build, only when a single line of a poetry or a simple muse, explain and understand us in such a perfectly satisfying way, that we couldn't ever do in all these years.●
plopped into cool water, my manus flattens against the stone below as a bowl upturns like a dome above.
my marble eyes ring with the warning of moonlight, my skin glistens, slick with sage-
i peer at my greenhouse, pads reaching to press the convex glass, curiosity caressing my face-
but comfort follows me beneath the water, serenity tying me back to stone.
then steam clouds the cage; lids close off sight, then sound- suddenly, silenced, i muster one last croak. poetrycommunity
death by comfort // the boiling frog
What joy must it be to be Icarus, to plummet from the highest heavens, bronze wings melding wax into sunlight, pale arms outstretched in resemblance to a great bird of prey. To taste the wind, sweet yet fierce, smell the freedom in the flowing air, to laugh in the face of pain, in the face of one’s fragile mortality, chest cocked in defiance.
Little women ramble
So I was just looking at and consuming a bit of little women media and something hit me. And this is just my own feelings you don't have to agree with me. But I think Amy's will almost always be able to understand Jo's better than Jo's will be able to understand Amy's. Btw I am not claiming one is better than the other. My thing is Amy's look at Jo's a lot, they observe and try to understand them. That is kind of how they show their love for them. Amy's love Jo's so much. That is why Amy's fall in love with Laurie. In this one clip I saw someone was saying something about how jo and Laurie's are each other's halves and because of Amy's love for Jo and Laurie basically being so similar to Jo that's why Amy loved him. And to a good extent I think that is true. So it's this all encompassing love that Amy's have for Jo's that make it so they understand Jo better than Jo can understand Amy.
She was covered in flowers, blooms of every scent and hue. Yet, she was so alone— the kind of loneliness that could kill. Imagine tombstones, not of the forgotten, but of the murdered, adorned with flowers of all sorts. People had spoiled her with flowers.
Maybe all that we want is already taken— no matter how much we cry, yearn, lament, we never seem to get what we seek.
Be sincere, man. Where is it unreachable? Where?
If you love that destination, no place is unreachable. Because love— love is the fuel that takes us to distant lands we dream of, but have no map for.
Love, only love, man. Nothing else. Nothing much.
A life-changing epiphany.
A complication.
A trepidation
that even in
the insurgents,
the ones with
bottles and bottles
of red pills,
the Mavericks.
Within them,
lies those
still
enslaved by
the very fruits of their rebellion.
A life-changing epiphany.
A complication.
A trepidation
that even in
the insurgents,
the ones with
bottles and bottles
of red pills,
the Mavericks.
Within them,
lies those
still
enslaved by
the very fruits of their rebellion.
The mothers
only pray
to get
Lawyers
Doctors
Presidents
and
Engineers
then
the world
stares on,
finding it hard
to give us all our daily havocs,
for the rest
of our lives.
Some are whores
and
gigolos
so you
marry them at
your own
risk
that when you
find them
extramarital
you know that
this was it,
the destiny thing.
And the prominent
question man
is not in who
loves us,
but
in who returns
the love
when we offer
it first.
I have given up on everything except the believe, in thyself as if am anything special
Once, I was a fisherboy— happy with everything that happened.
It’s all behind me now. Everything that happens intimidates me.
Someday, I’ll reach the great lakes, become a fisherboy again, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll learn to enjoy what time offers me.
Fisherboy
How I love the beer company ads of non drinkers. They fully mirror the kind of world we are in, how it fucks us up and then advertises itself as a better place to live in.
But as it happens in us squalors it’s worse in the high society clique. Selfishness, rape, murder, witchcraft and every kind of unthinkable behavior. Relate this to Africans who die with a delusion that there is equal rights and freedom in the west, they die with a naked kind of lie.
And if you think I need help , the only kind I deserve is to understand me. I have been misconceived thus misjudged for ages am yearning for that feel, the feel to be be guessed right.
life is all that we got,ours not there's.
art by @kmcvisuals
Hell will remain a fantasy until it becomes a reality.
Eventually, I am getting old, old but fine, like gold. If you'd asked me, five years ago, I wouldn’t have predicted patches of happiness even for a day in my life. But here I am, getting old— and loving it, to the moon.
a happy birthday to me on this 10th