Latest Posts by chijiewolf - Page 4

He's so cute HELP! 😭😭💙💙💙

MC: *posted on magicam* Someone really needs to buy me a pregnancy test ASAP.

Deuce: *comments* Why?

MC: This mf— *replies with a photo of Leona*— has been resting his head on my tummy.

Deuce: @MC Okay. But what does he have to do with buying pregnancy test?

MC: @Deuce HE'S PURRING.

Kalim: @MC Lions purr?

Jamil: @Kalim That's the least of your worry here, Kalim. What MC's trying to imply here is that cats can predict if someone's having a baby.

Leona: @MC Who did you do it with?

Malleus: @Leona Me.

Leona: @MC no wonder you stink.

Deuce: @MC So you two were not playing ping-pong in the bed?

Leona: ...

Malleus: ...

Kalim: ...

Jamil: ...

Malleus: @MC What kind of excuse is that?

MC: @Malleus A smart one.

Ace: HAHAHAHA—!

Deuce: Ace...

MC: *who ended up having cat ears like Grim's because of a lab accident*

Ace: You're so cute, Prefect!

MC: Shut up.

Grim: You're really my henchman! You just take after me!

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I'm questioning myself why I got you guys as my friends. Well, except you, Deuce.

Deuce: Will you be okay attending classes?

MC: Professor Crewel said I'm not excused. And it will wear off the next week anyway.

Ace: But aren't we sharing a classroom with 3rd years?

MC: ...

MC: Ah shit.

Malleus: ...

Malleus: What happened to you, child of man?

MC: I've got into an accident. Don't worry, it's nothing serious.

Malleus: ...

MC: ...

Malleus: You look adorable.

MC: *frowns*

Malleus: *chuckles*

Idia: Come here, meow meow. *waving a light stick in front of them*

MC: ...

MC: Idia.

Idia: Do you want some premium tuna?

MC: I'm not Grim!

Idia: Eeek! I'm sorry!

MC: ...

MC: What do you want?

Idia: ...C-Can I pet you?

MC: Just a headpat.

Idia: Y-Yes! Just a headpat!

MC: *lets him*

Idia: *staying true to his words* *only giving them soft headpats*

MC: *getting comfortable*

MC: *purrs*

Idia: ...

Idia: *screaming internally*

Idia: This is the best day of my life...

ik you’ve written abt megumi a lot lately but i’m in deep right now lol😭 can i request a childhood friends to lovers with him and the readers met everyone that he knows except Itadori and Nobara? i feel like meeting them with him would be very chaotic and possibly embarrassing for him

childhood friends to lovers >>>

you're probably the only friend he made in grade school, unless you count tsumiki. honestly megumi isn't sure why you insisted on hanging out with him during recess or lunch, seeing his reputation was a little... well, you know how it was.

at first he's probably a little annoyed that you keep insisting on hanging around him, but eventually you're just a constant in his life. he wouldn't admit it, but on days that you stayed home sick or had an appointment during school hours, he was a little bit lonely.

(tsumiki teases him constantly and is always asking about you)

it's not until you admit a secret to him that he decides you probably are his best friend, and will finally admit it out loud. he'll never forget the nervous way you told him that you could see monsters, afraid that he would laugh and make fun of you for such a stupid thing. you're surprised when he sits down with you and tells you all about curses and jujutsu sorcerers and the annoying man that had essentially adopted him to strengthen his abilities in the hopes that one day he could kill those monsters.

(you fall a little in love with him that day in the fifth grade when he tells you that you don't have to be afraid of the monsters bc he'll always be around to scare 'em off)

you remain attached at the hip all through middle school, learning everything about each other during study halls and late nights staying up on the phone together. you talk to him about your cursed technique, and he spends hours with you trying to better understand it's capabilities. neither one of you have any other friends, and if you thought enough about it you'd probably realize you're social rejects. but neither of you care. you had each other and you understood each other, and that was all that really mattered.

the summer before high school, megumi tells you that it was time for him to go to a different school, where he could learn more about curses and follow the path to being a proper sorcerer. you tell him you're happy for him, that you're proud of him, and you know he'll succeed in anything he puts his mind too. he's blushing. you're holding back tears.

you don't want him to go. you couldn't possibly ask him to stay.

and then one day, just before the school year started, a weird man in dark sunglasses and the whitest hair you've ever seen approaches you while you're waiting for your order to be called at your favorite cafe.

he tells you who he is, and that megumi had spent many, many hours talking about you and your abilities. he hands you a brochure, and tells you that he wants you to enroll at jujutsu tech. at first you refuse, you're too afraid of the monsters, and you came from a family of non-curse users. you'd never even told them about your abilities. gojo tells you that he'd already spoken to your parents, and he'd convinced them to let you go to a private school under the guise of your outstanding academic record.

with that, you couldn't really refuse.

megumi is ecstatic when gojo brings you to the school. gojo doesn't think he's ever seen him so happy, and he's surprised when he hugs you tightly, overcome with joy that he didn't have to be apart from his favorite person.

you're both blushing.

in the two weeks before school starts, you help each other unpack and decorate in your little dorms, which are just down the hall from each other. you admit to megumi that you're not sure if this was the right path for you, and he tells you that no matter any anxiety you might have about your new life, he'd be there to help every step of the way.

your heart skips a beat when you look up into his azure eyes, knowing that he meant every word he said. are you supposed to feel this warm and fluttery for your friends? you're not sure, but you enjoy the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, so you don't think too much about it.

you spend almost every waking minute together before school starts. it's the best time of your life. you don't think you've ever been happier. megumi feels the same. he doesn't think he's ever laughed so much in his life spending all this extra time with you that he didn't get as much when you were still growing up.

the night that he's sent to find the cursed object that was sukuna's finger, you had been practicing applying your cursed technique with a teacher back at the school. apparently the blonde man with the spotted tie was the only one patient enough to train with you from the afternoon to well into the evening.

you aren't aware of the events that transpired with one itadori yuji. you had far too much catching up to do. megumi briefly mentions another student joining our class, but he doesn't give away too much information. he'd rather hear about how far you're coming along with your technique, anyways.

a few days later, your mentor Nanami tells you there will be yet another student joining you, a young girl this time. you're excited at the prospect of making new friends.

megumi dreads it.

gojo had already mentioned you (more specifically, he'd said "just wait until you meet (y/n)! I'm sure megumi will be happy to introduce you to his girl!") to the three of them on the last assignment they'd taken together. yuji and nobara had squealed at the prospect of their grouchy classmate having a girl. megumi doesn't know how yet, but he knows he'll have to get gojo back for that one.

it's not until a few days after nobara has joined the team that you finally have some free time away from training, and you suggest to megumi that all four of you should have some bonding time.

"we're classmates. we bond enough" he'd replied gruffly, going back to the book he was reading. but you gave him your best puppy dog eyes and insisted that you must meet them.

"you think they won't like me?" you ask when he continues to shoot the idea down.

megumi huffs, finally dropping the book to his lap and staring blankly at you. you scooted closer to him on his bed.

"you're not embarrassed of me are you, megumi?" you tease, grinning ear to ear.

"course not" he muttered, turning away in hopes that you wouldn't see his blushing face.

you can still see the red tips of his ears, and that feeling of butterflies that you'd been experiencing lately returned. you tease him for his blushing. he gives in with a defeated sigh, throwing his head back against the wall as he agrees to a lunch with your new classmates.

you clap your hands, and lean forward to press your lips to his cheek without thinking. he thinks his heart might burst he could die right there. he gets up and leaves the room hastily under the excuse of finding nobara and yuji.

when the lunch finally rolls around, he contemplates pretending to be sick so he didn't have to go. he couldn't possibly handle yuji and nobara teasing him- which was bound to happen.

but you're so excited, you'd spent all morning with him trying to find the right thing to wear- despite megumi repeatedly telling you that anything was fine, and he was just going to wear his uniform.

"well that's different, you look good in your uniform. it makes me look boxy" you told him, before grabbing a different hanger and heading back into the bathroom to change for the hundredth time.

he feels hot suddenly at the compliment. you continued to fluster him, and it was starting to drive him crazy.

when you emerge in a new outfit, megumi swallows his fear (and maybe his pride too).

"that looks good," he tells you as you look over the outfit in your mirror. "you look, uh, pretty"

you grin, finding it adorable how much he struggled to compliment you. you decide this is the one, and beckon him to come with you to meet your new friends at the gate.

"they're loud," megumi warns. "and... annoying" he adds.

"I don't mind," you shrug, not thinking twice about his cautious words. "I think it'll be good for us to branch out a little"

megumi's hands are closed in tight, clammy fists at his sides.

"i guess" he mumbles. he's never felt so much anxiety in his life before.

(y/n) reaches a hand out to his, gently prodding open his fist and linking her fingers through his. he stops in his tracks, and she turns to look at him, puzzled.

"what's been bothering you?" she asks, worried.

megumi looks anywhere but at her face. all he can think about was how soft the palm of her hand is, and how it seemed to fit perfectly in his. his heart's racing. his mind is buzzing with thoughts of her. but even with her standing in front of him, he can't bring himself to look at her.

"it's stupid"

(y/n) shrugs her shoulders. "so?"

its a simple response, but it seems to do the trick to get herself catapulted over his high, high walls, because he gives in and fucking admits it already.

"they kinda know that i... like you," he says, eyes dropping to hers to watch her reaction closely. "like you like... more than friends like each other"

her mouth forms a little 'o' and her cheeks and quickly turning a rosy shade of pink. she processes the words carefully, before her lips break into a smile, and she squeezes the hand she's holding.

"megumi," she says warmly. "why does that bother you so much? you don't want them to know?"

he sputters out nonsense.

"well I didn't need them going and- and blabbing off to you! I wanted to be the one to tell you first"

(y/n) chuckles, and drags him along with her so they can continue their walk to the gates.

"I already knew," she shrugged casually.

megumi thinks he's going to die.

"but I appreciate you finally telling me," she adds. "and for what it's worth, I like you too"

he wants to cuss her out for making him so anxious over nothing, but he's so elated that he bites his tongue.

(for now, later that night he'll chew you out for not telling him sooner. you'll giggle and kiss his nose and tell him you like watching him squirm. he'll pull you against him and affectionately call you the devil)

and for what it's worth, megumi wasn't wrong. as soon as your new classmates see your joined hands and megumi's blushing face, it is open season. you want to make them calm down for your sweet, shy boy's sake, but you can't help but giggle along while they childishly, relentlessly tease him for having a soft spot.

the soft spot grows larger as he ducks his face into the collar of his shirt. his hand squeezes yours a little tighter.

silently, you tell him,

any anxiety you might have, I'll be here every step of the way. ___

got a lil carried away. i love megumi he makes me soft :')

MC: *being woken up by Cerberus*

Cerberus: Ruff! *stomping their bed with his front paws*

MC: Nn... Is it morning already?

Cerberus: *wags his tail* *gives them a boop on the cheek*

MC: *smiles* Thank you, Cerberus.

Cerberus: *shyly covers his face with his paw*

MC: *chuckles*

Lucifer: *cutting some firewood with an axe*

MC: *watching him*

MC: Aren't you bragging?

Lucifer: *looks at them and smiles*

Lucifer: This is how I got your answer before.

MC: Yes. And quite a foolish one.

*Lucifer has been staying with them for a few months now*

Lucifer: If you would only just tell me how I can make you fall in love with me again.

MC: ...

MC: Breakfast is ready. *then goes inside*

Lucifer: *smiles softly* You've never changed.

Lucifer: Cerberus, you can eat by yourself. Stop asking MC to feed you.

Cerberus: *grumbles*

MC: Cerberus, say ah~.

Cerberus: AAHHHHHHHH—*yawns*

MC: *chuckles* Oh, no. That is too much. *proceeds to feed him*

MC: And don't forget your medicine.

Cerberus: Ruff? *whines*

MC: It's for your bones, smart boy.

Lucifer: *feeling a bit jealous*

Cerberus: Ruuuuuff?

Lucifer: ...

MC: *starts laughing*

Lucifer: What did you say about me, Cerberus?

Cerberus: *doggy smile*

MC: *still laughing*

Lucifer: *frowns*

Lucifer: *helping MC fold the laundry* That dog. How dare he to call me an old man?

MC: It is true though.

Lucifer: *pouts* We don't age, MC. So it isn't.

MC: But you complain about your back sometimes. That is sign of old age.

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: *sets the clothes down and moves closer to them* *rests his head on their shoulder*

MC: !!!

MC: Wh-What are you doing?

Lucifer: I feel tired, MC. I want to rest on you. Like I used to.

MC: ...

Cerberus: *hopping as he walks to the room* *stops*

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...

Cerberus: *gives them a knowing look*

Lucifer and MC: *both blushes*

MC: I-It's not what you think, Cerberus!

Lucifer: Cerberus! Get out!

Cerberus: *still looking at them as he walks out of the room*

MC: ...

Lucifer: I-I'll give him a scolding.

MC: *trying to make their way by feeling up the walls with their hands* *being careful for any bumps or cracks on the floor*

Cerberus: *watches them in confusion*

MC: *sigh* If there's only a way to know that I'm going the right way.

Cerberus: Ruff.

MC: ...

Cerberus: Ruff?

MC: Oh. Aren't you the dog earlier? Cerberus isn't? *slowly turns to where they heard him*

Cerberus: *comes closer to them* *letting them touch one of his heads*

MC: *sigh in relief* Thank goodness...

Cerberus: *growls* *then snorts*

MC: Is it okay if you guide me back to the hallway?

Cerberus: *grumbles as a response*

MC: *smiles* Thank you. I really appreciate your help—

Cerberus: *picking them up by the scruff of their shirt and throwing them on his back*

MC: *feels their heart dropped for a second, not until they felt his smooth fur*

Cerberus: *continues to grumble while he slowly walks*

MC: ...

MC: *soft chuckles* Thank you for your consideration, Cerberus.

Cerberus: *proudly raised his head*

🙏Plz🙏

More housewife!mc

🙏Plz🙏

*In the market*

Asmo: MC? Why don’t we buy this radish? It’s big. It’s fresh. Perfect for-

MC: *clips his lips with their fingers* We’re looking for fruits.

Asmo: *gets a banana and puts it in the basket* 

MC: Let’s keep going.

Asmo: Bananas can be alternative too.

MC: Do you want me to send you flying?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Belphie: *whining* MC~! Please give me my pillow already!

MC: I’m not done stitching it!

Belphie: But it’s my favorite pillow!

MC: Find another pillow you can use!

Belphie: *pouts* Okay. I’ll just have your lap instead.

MC: ...

MC: *frowns* You spoiled brat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer: MC, I want you to do something.

MC: What?

Lucifer: Wear this apron and stand on the doorway. 

MC: *confused* Okay.

Lucifer: *gets out* *then knocks on the door* *enters* I’m here.

MC: *by instinct* Welcome home.

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: *laughs* 

MC: *raises an eyebrow* What?

Celestial Child

Theo: MC, my dearest child. I would have to send you to Devildom to meet your other brothers.

MC: Father... Are you going to be alright once I left?

Theo: *chuckles* Yes. You worry too much. *pats their head* Be safe on your journey.

MC: *smiles* Thank you.

------------------------------------

Raphael: Sorry, MC. But I can only assist you to the Celestial Gate.

MC: It's fine, Raphael! You have been always helping me.

Raphael: ...

MC: Raphael...?

Raphael: *looks at them with a stern expression* Are you really sure that you want to meet Lucifer and his brothers? You know that they are demons.

MC: *genuinely smiles* Are you worried about me?

Raphael: *his expression softens* Why wouldn't I?

MC: *hugs him* I'm going to be fine, Raphael. It's not like our communication will stop once I arrived there.

Raphael: Better not. *hugs them back*

MC: *laughs*

-----------------------------------

*In the Devildom*

Barbatos: MC will arrive shortly.

Diavolo: Are you nervous, Lucifer?

Lucifer: I don't know what you're talking about.

Barbatos: I think they are here now.

MC: *appears in front of them surrounded by a glowing light that eventually faded* Sorry for the wait.

Lucifer: *glares at them as he sees their wings that almost looked exactly like his*

Diavolo: No. You are just right on time. And Lucifer, would you care to assist them?

Lucifer: *walks towards MC and offers his hand* Let's go. I will show you around.

MC: *about to reach for his hand, but stops*

Lucifer: What's the matter?

MC: *laughs* You are planning to cut my hand, aren't you?

Lucifer: So you could read people's mind.

MC: No. I don't have that kind of ability. *smiles at him* It seems that you already hated me the moment your eyes landed on me.

Lucifer: I'm glad you know. I dislike the fact that father would make another being that is exactly like me.

MC: *sad frowns* I don't see why you think we are alike. You are still Lucifer, one of the greatest angels—

Lucifer: And now demon. You don't have to flatter me.

MC: *smiles* Okay.

Diavolo: *chuckles* Enough with the introductions. MC, let's go now and we are going to assist you to your home here in Devildom.

Barbatos: And Lucifer, please. Stop glaring at MC.

Lucifer: *looks away*

MC: *holds his hand*

Lucifer: !!!

MC: I will be in your care, brother.

Lucifer: *snarls* I'm not your brother. *but doesn't remove their hand to his*

Baker!MC and Barbie doing sappy stuff please💖💖

Barbatos: *pacing back and forth*

Diavolo and Lucifer: *has been watching him for 5 minutes*

Lucifer: Barbatos, are you not going to stop? I’m getting dizzy by just watching you.

Diavolo: What seems the matter?

Barbatos: *looks at them with a worried expression* I woke up this morning and MC wasn’t there. 

Lucifer: Wait. You two are living together?

Diavolo: Barbatos, maybe you’re just overthinking. 

Barbatos: But MC won’t leave my side and they always tell me where they are going. 

Lucifer: Maybe MC is meeting someone else? Did you two have a fight?

Barbatos: No.

Diavolo: Are they stressed? Problematic? Unsatisfied?

Barbatos: I don’t think so- *suddenly has a doomed expression* 

Diavolo: ...

Lucifer: ...

Barbatos: I just realized that I had slept right after I arrived home. 

Lucifer: Ah... That’s bad. Maybe MC decided to leave you because of that.

Diavolo: Lucifer.

Barbatos: What if they had returned to the human world... *sulk*

Diavolo: If that’s the case, you can just go and ask them to come back. 

Barbatos: But... What if they said “no”?

Diavolo: That’s-

MC: *enters the room carrying a huge bat pillow* Barb! I knew you’d be here! *smiles*

Barbatos: *runs to them* MC! 

Lucifer: Why are they carrying a pillow?

Barbatos: *worried* Where have you been?!

MC: *a little bit taken aback* Hmm? I went for a shopping in the human world. And I also bought some groceries. Look, I have purchased this huge pillow. *grins* 

Barbatos: *sad frowns* Why didn’t you tell me that you’re going out?

MC: You were exhausted. 

Barbatos: That wasn’t enough of an excuse. 

Diavolo: Looks like they’re going to fight.

MC: ...

MC: *puts the pillow down and hugs him* I’m sorry. 

MC: I didn’t know you would miss me that much.

Barbatos: *pouts* 

Lucifer: Diavolo, do you have your phone?

Diavolo: Why?

Lucifer: We need to capture this.

Lucifer: The dorky side of Barbatos. 

Diavolo: Lucifer! *looks at him while playing with MC's hair* *has this expression of discovering something new*

Diavolo: How can someone have this really soft fur?

MC: That's my hair...

Lucifer: They're of Solomon's breed.

MC: ...

Diavolo: Are you sure? But this one looks pure.

MC: I know my brother is shady sometimes, but can you please not insult him? I don't feel good when someone insults my brother.

Lucifer: You're right. They're a lot more different from Solomon.

Lucifer: That guy pretends not to hear anything.

MC: ...

Diavolo: By the way, I've heard from Lucifer that you're a good fighter. Do you want to try having a wrestling fight with me?

MC: ...

MC: I don't think I will stand a chance.

Diavolo: Don't worry. I will go easy on you.

MC: *immediately hides behind Lucifer*

Lucifer: *pleased*

Diavolo: Lucifer, hand me the puppy.

Lucifer: No. Besides, they do have a point. Your idea of "going easy on someone" will never work in your nature.

Diavolo: *frowns*

--------------------------------------------

*Lucifer and Diavolo finally letting go of MC and leaving them alone*

MC: *just staring into space because of exhaustion*

Satan: Hey, kid. You shouldn't be sitting on the sidewalk—

MC: *looks up at him*

Satan: *lowkey mesmerized by their face*

Satan: *realized that he got distracted for a few seconds* *shakes his head*

Satan: As I've said earlier, you should not be sitting on the sidewalk. There are a lot of people walking here. What if they accidentally bumped into you or something?

MC: *no thoughts in those eyes*

Satan: ...

Satan: Are you perhaps... hungry?

MC: No. I'm exhausted.

Satan: ...

--------------------------------------------

Satan: *brought MC to the House Of Lamentation*

Asmo and Mammon: MC!

Satan: You know them?

Asmo: Yes! They're Solomon's sibling!

Satan: Solomon?

Mammon: Hey, MC! You look lifeless! Here, I'll give you some hug!

MC: *immediately falling asleep after being embraced by him*

Satan: So it seems they're really that exhausted.

Asmo: *displeased* Of course. Lucifer and Lord Diavolo have been hogging them the whole day.

Satan: ...

Mammon: If only they made a pact with me first, this would never happen.

Solomon: *sad puppy expression* MC, didn't you cook breakfast for me?

MC: No.

Solomon: Are you still mad from the previous events?

MC: ...

Solomon: ...

Solomon: My siberian husky—

MC: Don't call me that.

Solomon: Awoo?

MC: *tries to ignore him*

Solomon: Awoo?

MC: ...

Solomon: *moves closer to them* *resting his chin over their head* Ruff.

MC: *cracks up*

Solomon: Are we good now?

MC: ...

MC: Yes. But you're an idiot, brother.

Solomon: Hehe~.

---------------------------------------------

MC: What are you doing here, Beel...

Beel: I'm hungry and I missed your food. I also dragged my twin brother so he could meet you.

Belphie: *looks at MC*

MC: ...

Belphie: You'll be good as a pillow.

MC: I don't want to.

Beel: Yes. How can they cook for me if they become your pillow?

Belphie: Are they not multi-purpose?

MC: *sweat drop*

Beel: MC, can you cook for me now?

MC: Sorry, Beel. But I still need to do grocery.

Beel: Okay. After we do grocery, can you cook for me?

MC: Yes... I suppose.

Beel: Great.

MC: ...

MC: Why are you still staring at me?

Beel: Can't you grow up faster so I can marry you?

MC: ...

Belphie: Beel, that came out of the blue.

Beel: Was it?

MC: ...

MC: I'll just pretend I never heard that.

---------------------------------------------

Solomon: MC? Don't go out tomorrow, okay?

MC: ...

MC: Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me.

Solomon: You're welcome. *smiles*

Luke: Why can't MC go outside tomorrow?

Solomon: Tomorrow is the lunar eclipse.

Luke: Okay?

Solomon: *smiles* You'll see MC in their adult form.

Luke: Wh-Wha! Really?!

Solomon: Yes. Though that's only for the whole night.

Luke: But why can't they go outside?

MC: It's... troublesome...

MC: *feeling nervous*

Barbatos: *has been staring at them for quite some time*

MC: *to themselves* It's alright. Maybe he's just wondering why I'm taking too much time in the counter. *cries internally* Why does my brother have to include all these stuff in the shopping list?

*once they're done*

Barbatos: *approaches them* Hello. *smiles*

MC: Ah, hello...?

Barbatos: I've been staring at you for a while and you're awfully similar with the one I know.

MC: *smiles awkwardly* Like... Solomon the Wise Sorcerer?

Barbatos: Yes. Him. Are you perhaps his sibling?

MC: Y-Yes?

Barbatos: *smiles with a hidden intention*

MC: ...

--------------------------------------------

Solomon: M-MC? Stop... Your brother is getting dizzy...

MC: *shaking him by his collar*

Barbatos: *chuckles*

Simeon and Luke: ...

Luke: What's going on?

Simeon: I think Solomon promised to Barbatos that he would marry MC off to him.

Barbatos: What now, Solomon? That was the promise you made when you were on the verge of death.

Solomon: Y-Yes. I know, but... As you can see, MC is just a child. So you can't.

Barbatos: A child, hm? How old did you say your sibling again when we've last met?

Barbatos: Ah, 12 years old you say.

Solomon: ...

Barbatos: And I'm positive that because of a fairy's curse, MC stops from physically growing but their maturity is on par with yours and with us, right?

MC: ...

MC: *gives Solomon a glare* Brother, of all the things you could offer...

MC: Why me?

Solomon: B-Because you're the safest?

MC: *shakes him again vigorously that his head is almost a blur*

Simeon and Luke: ...

Barbatos: Anyway, I'm not here to marry you since there's a lot that will be against it, but I would like you to make a pact with me as well.

Solomon: B-Barbatos, hold on...

Barbatos: I won't accept a no.

---------------------------------------------

Lucifer: Let's see... Aren't you smart to have the Avatar of Pride, the Avatar of Gluttony, and the demon who can control the timelines to make a pact with you?

MC: Why does it sound to me that you are disappointed?

Lucifer: I don't like sharing my human. That's simple.

MC: *sigh*

Barbatos: MC, come here a second. Try on this dress.

MC: !!!

Lucifer: Isn't that the 20th dress already?

Barbatos: Yes. But I think I've got addicted to this hobby of dressing them like a doll. *smiles*

MC: ...

MC: I will just... go and check the weather outside—

Barbatos: Alright. I can still catch you no matter how fast you can run.

MC: ...

MC: *in defeat* Nevermind. Is that the dress?

Barbatos: *smiles* Yes.

Lucifer: I feel pity for you.

iii. Actor AU | Bloopers/Gag Reel

Part Two of the Actor AU series! 

Word Count: 887 words

Page Count: 2.7 pages

A.N. Hope you guys like these bloopers lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Keep reading

he’s just a tree boy and that’s kinda cool🐸

How does fluffy Lucario look after a bath? Does he become big ball of floof, or just a bit fuzzier?

decently puffy

Lucario has the fur to get all poofy though...

*MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD*

Given how Twilight almost lost his composure and was thiiis close to laughing his head off, it’s hard to imagine he’s never done the same when his daughter is, well, Anya. Maybe that’s the reason he locks himself in his room - to get all the lols out when no one’s watching.

sakura💖💖💖

genshin men as wedding dates (3)

It’s wedding season and you’ve got a large one coming up. But it’s not just any wedding, it’s a family wedding meaning…extended relatives. Are you going to brave the night out on your own or are you rsvping with a plus one?

Featuring— Alhaitham, Cyno, Tighnari, Kaveh, Dainsleif, Dottore

gn!reader, modern au, mentions of alcohol, mostly platonic but implied romantic feelings

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (here)

AL HAITHAM

there has to be some sort of trade-off; his time is precious so there's got to be something in it for him. luckily for you, who's one of the few people he considers a close friend, it's just some random errand he doesn't want to run

he’s a mediocre date; follows your lead and is just kind of a wallflower honestly. will make polite conversation but only if someone talks to him first

drinks just enough to loosen up but not enough to get sloppy, and definitely still sober enough to read the book he brought. you leave him be, but you’re still going to go have a good time at this reception

yikes someone from the groom's guest list comes sidling up, hoping to shoot their shot with the handsome stranger sitting alone. of course he gets annoyed; not only was this person disrupting him but wasn’t it obvious he came with you?

wait where are you

he finds you on the dance floor with… someone else??… which is fair since he's here as a friend, but he strides up to you anyway and does not hesitate to interrupt

"thanks for keeping my date entertained but I'll take it from here" and then he leads you away to a different corner of the dance floor

did not think this all the way through because now he’s dancing with you but it’s just so…… robotic. he tries, he really does, but that doesn’t stop the secondhand embarrassment from anyone who happens to see him. you don’t mind though, you think it’s cute

"finally haitham, I've been waiting for you all night!" and then you kiss him on the cheek

perhaps it was a combination of the lighting effects and the alcohol, but you don't notice the blush on his face

CYNO

events like these aren’t really his vibe but you catch him in a good mood after you 'laugh' at one of his jokes

seems like a very intimidating guest at first and that’s not the impression he wants to give to your family, so he brought his joke book! chooses to tell one at your table during dinner and the silence after he explains the whole thing is truly deafening

he tries again but says "how about this one; y/n thought it was hilarious." so now you have to fake laugh and elbow the cousin sitting next to you to laugh as well

one of the uncles from the table next to yours actually overheard and leaned back in his chair to tell him it was hilarious so that’s a win

when you get overwhelmed by relatives asking you when you're getting married, he steps in to help you but accidentally says,

"we'll take the step when we're ready"

wait what

mans is a mess trying to fix the situation and you've never seen him like this so now you have to save him by laughing it off and dragging him away

he plays genius invokation tcg with some of your teen relatives; they were losing though, so they distract him by saying "heard the next wedding's you and y/n" and it works

he gets really awkward around you after that and you have to reassure him that it’s fine, no big deal! you even joke that if fake dating tonight would get all the annoying aunties and uncles off your back, then sure let’s do it

he’d never tell you, at least not anytime soon, but it doesn’t sit right with him to hear you say ‘fake dating’

TIGHNARI

if you’re not bringing a bag/clutch/purse/whatever, then he will and he has everything: antacids, aspirins, bandaids, safety pins, an epipen, etc

wow this venue decorated the place with such nice plants, a shame they’re not for anyone to take home. good thing no one noticed him take clippings to propagate

it's great to have him on your team because he is very good at all the physical wedding games like cornhole, ring toss, etc. you don't win anything except bragging rights but at a family wedding? sure, you'll take it

doesn’t smile in any group photos; only smiles in photos of just the two of you and selfies that you take on your phone, even though he pretends to be over it

is not nice to your offensive relatives; super passive aggressive with lots of backhanded comments. he'll make some snide remarks under his breath but everyone thinks he's joking. finds out one of your uncles is a flat earther, and takes it personally

complains about the music and how it's too loud but doesn't do anything about it, so you take him outside for a stroll in the little botanical garden

despite the nice, peaceful atmosphere of the garden, you guys do eventually have to regroup with everyone else gathered out on the lawn to watch fireworks and tighnari is doing is absolute best to stall

"....eh, we can see just fine from here, no?" he says as he pulls you down next to him onto the bench he's sitting on. if he plays his next cards right, maybe... you'll even rest your head on his shoulder?

KAVEH

he asks you if he can come as your date to the wedding because he loves these sorts of events and you agree because it’s always a fun time with kaveh

neither of you want to be dd so somehow… somehow he ropes his ‘annoying roommate’ into driving you two there and back

makes sure both of you are dressed to the 9's; maybe he wants to upstage the wedding party because he arrives in a satin suit and his shirt is unbuttoned dangerously low. some poor relative has to take a million photos of the two of you until he likes it, and then some more ‘just in case’

shows off some of his architectural work from his phone; even gets a few inquiries from your rich relatives for future jobs. networking king

once it hits cocktail hour, you’re taking a shot together. his arm is around your waist and that’s where it stays the entire time you guys are mingling with others

drinks a little too much and gossips about your family a little too loud though, so you've gotta reel him in even though you're not too far behind

drags you onto the dance floor and is a fun, but messy, dancer. you guys are in almost all the candid shots the photographer takes

on the drive back his roommate makes an extremely sharp turn and you find yourself thrown into kaveh. physics, am I right. you’re apologizing profusely even though he insists it’s fine and that you should, in fact, just stay in that position, your body against his

throws up in the car after you get dropped off and the next morning you wake up to a slew of messages from him complaining about how his roommate is so cruel for making him clean his car at 7am with zero regard for his hangover

DAINSLEIF

he agrees to go but panics the week of and keeps asking you if you're sure you want to take him as your date even though it's been rsvp'd for ages

maybe not the most fun date, but overall not a bad date

offers you an arm when you two go somewhere together, holds your hand through a crowd, pulls your chair out for you during the reception, etc

brought you one of every dessert from the buffet and risked looking like an absolute glutton because

“you said to bring you a dessert, but didn’t specify which one”

he’s very sweet to the older guests; they are swooning and keeps winking and telling you he's a keeper. you don’t have the heart to tell them you’re not even dating

gives random unsolicited advice and it’s always a hit or miss

he is so awkward in the photobooth because he doesn’t know what to do? it takes 4 photos in one strip and he looks the same in 3 of them. finally on the last one you do the thing where you lift up the corners of his mouth so he’s at least smiling

keeps his copy in his wallet for a long time, maybe even forever who knows

you never thought him to be a dancer so you’re a little surprised when he asks you to slow dance; even more so at the fact that he is very good at it??

you follow his lead, and dancing with dainsleif is honestly such a tender moment. if not for the color of your clothing, people might have mistaken you two as the newly weds, what with the way he’s looking at you while you rest your head against his chest

you see him crack a sliver of a smile when you catch the bouquet and you think that he’s just happy you won. but he knows full well what it insinuates especially when everyone’s clapping him on the back in congratulations

DOTTORE

you only ask him if he's your absolute last option because why in your right mind would you take dottore as your date to a family wedding. he only agrees to go as 'an experiment'

pick out his outfit please lest he wear one of his funky little suits

introduces himself as dr. and he's so dramatic about it so a lot of people are fawning over him; you suppose all families love a doctor but only you know that he's technically not even legally allowed to practice medicine

scowls behind you when an old family friend starts talking to you for a bit too long. excuses himself to socialize with said friend, but then you wonder why hardly anyone else approaches you the rest of the night

insists on you wearing his suit jacket because he doesn't want you to 'catch a cold' uh huh okay doctor

he makes the 7-year old flower girl cry at the reception but the thing is, he wasn't even trying? everything he says sounds vaguely threatening and kids are just terrified of him

so first of all he makes it very clear that he's doing this for you okay; he will make it up to you by doing some simple science party tricks for the kids

.... except he way overdoes it and sets off a mentos/soda rocket into the ceiling

and he’s not even sorry; he’s actually proud of that little demonstration like ‘go little rockstar.’ you’re forced to leave early in shame

he does go down as a family urban legend though because aunties will say "if you don't behave, the scary doctor will come get you!”

With so many new characters, I feel like part 3 has been long overdue!

Hello! May I request disney princess au Darling just happily napping in a flower field being surrounded by squishy slimes who is oblivious/ignoring the sounds of regretful cultists (prolly the knights) being dive bombed by birds and other animals. The more they try to get closer to Darling, the more feral the animals become. Darling just goes *squish* with the slimes in their arms.

This one took a while bc I needed to get the energy to do it even a lick of justice. Because YESSSS???? This is the entire vibe???

-

It's a wonderful day.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the clouds are white and fluffy, the breeze is wonderfully gentle, and the slimes are adorably squishy. Truly, Teyvat is heaven.

The sun smiles upon its master, warming them evenly, shining bright for their enjoyment alone. The birds chirp their favorite melodies, notes entwined into their very being. The clouds decorate the sky, creating wonderful shapes for its beloved to watch drift by. The winds caress the figure in the grass, playfully wrapping around their limbs and mussing their hair. The various slimes bounce around, each eager to get its turn to be squished and hugged and loved by their benevolent creator that showed them nothing but kindness.

All around, animals played. Fox kits bounded into each other under the watchful gaze of their parents. Boars idly graze, assured in the presence of the Most Holy. Tiny finches hop about the ground, each hoping to gain the greatest perch. Two cranes watched from a pond while an Umbertail Falcon soared over the area.

The truest form of peace.

The sun blazed over farmlands, glaring, hateful, burning all under its rays. Clouds formed thick layers over towns and cities, pouring rivers upon houses and homes, mourning the pain the Divine One had to endure. The breeze turned to gales, carrying both screams and the screamers away from their love. Slimes gathered on roads, drawn toward the bustle of trade, coming back again and again no matter how many times guards and adventurers destroyed their forms.

Falcons swooped down toward another would-be apologist, pecking and clawing at skin and cloth. A boar charged from behind, sending a warrior to the ground. Finches surrounded and overwhelmed. Squirrels and weasels scampered around their feet, tripping up every step.

Crops wilted under even the most favorable of conditions. Boars migrated with no rhyme or reason to follow, seemingly vanishing from hunters at times. Fish swam and slipped away from any would be catcher. The birds, their hunters, protected their lakes and rivers with a fierce passion.

The Abyss grew bolder, intent on returning the lands to their rightful ruler.

Even the most loyal of pets had migrated from towns in droves, hissing and biting at any who shunned their creator. None remained loyal to their owners, but stayed with the children through the long and stormy nights, silently promising a better future—free from the sins of their forebearers.

-

Ahhh-- I didn't have any, like, actual plot come to mind so it's not very long but I hope this is good!

heyo! stardew valley!reader as always: well, it was bound to happen eventually. today is one of the days where both xiao and albedo are here at the same time (klee is playing outside) and you were all having a lovely picnic together. very cute, very enjoyable. xiao’s karma if debt has decreased by around half at this point and (!!!) he halfway accepts his adoption into the family. (!!! emotional progress everyone) you idly take a pear out of the basket while mostly keeping an eye on klee (1/2)🦝

"this explains so much"

I haven't looked thru all of your tags for your ocs, my sons (heart eyes) so sorry if you explained this already. I think I remember seeing something about one calling you mother and the other calling you heretic? Which sounds hilarious. Would you mind expanding on that please and thank you

I've only got that explanation of them up so far, so don't worry <3

I looked through it to see what you were talking about, and I think you're recalling this sentence "Otherwise, he's a cold sadist who takes delight in showing heretics and sinners why Destruction is the merciful one." because it's the only place the word is mentioned.

As funny as that might be, both of them possess an innate connection to god reader as they were created by your hand and raised in your care. They both absolutely adore you <3 ready to create and destroy entire universes at your word.

They will, however, go from "Mother~!!! <3 <3 <3" while talking to you to "filthy mongrels, death is a mercy you will never receive" @ anyone who looks at you wrong at the drop of a hat. The sudden change is pretty funny imo (someone save anyone who's actually impostering you, they'll be the twins' new plaything for the next eternity)

They're good, filial sons who protect and listen to their mother!

The last sentence broke my heart into tiny pieces 😭it was so sad that I accidentally came up with the idea that God!Dear little by little remembers her life as the Creator of Teivat. Imagine how happy Cyres and Cryas will be.

They'd be so happy! While you're remembering your past, piece by piece, you idly recall a time when your ever-calm Cyres had thrown a fit after Cryas had overhauled the art culture on his favorite world, and had thrown a black hole into the middle of Cryas' nearly finished project in response.

-

"That was for Mother, you dick!"

"Well, I was going to take Mother to tour that museum planet you decided to let become some rich asshole's summer home."

"Oh stuff it, like those two equal the same thing."

"Do you know how rare—"

"Boys." You had interrupted, hands on your hips as you stared down your children. They were hardly an eon old, but this was getting out of hand. "What did I say about fighting in the halls?"

Both winced and immediately deflated. "Sorry, Mother..."

...

"HEY! I was going to bring that to Mother!" Cryas reached out for the plate of food, held back only by Cyres' outstretched arm to his face.

Cyres' glare could wither life itself. "Go away, you know damn well this was my idea."

"That's exactly why I—"

"Boys." You interrupted, the words bubbling out unbidden the moment you came upon their little display. "What did I say about fighting in the halls?" What had you said? You couldn't recall making any rules on that— or had you?

Both winced on reflex. Then it dawned on them.

Their smiles could light up the farthest reaches of the void. "Sorry, Mother."

ever since the cyres voiceline abt mother falling to his destruction ive been thinking abt if mother actually did die. they're poisoned or smthn, either way they go down. a beat or two of silence, all of teyvat stilling, directly before the boys go ballistic. would teyvat even survive that one? would they keep it around in an attempt to cling to what little remnants of mother were left?

Well whoever/whatever and everything close to it is snapped from existence :) they murder it to death even if it was inorganic.

Teyvat isn't entirely destroyed, Mother came back to it once, they cling to the slightest possibility you'll return to it again. After all, you're a being above even them, it's only a matter of time until you return to them.

But, for now, they'll take their emotions and frustrations out on the people that ruined Mother's return after they'd waited and waited and waited.

They'll wait again, they'll always wait for you and the moment you can be a happy family once more.

no thoughts only giving the kids headpats :)

Helios is going to have.. An interesting reaction to the creator being back

What would he do if he heard rumors of an imposter, though?

I'm definitely going to write about his reunion with his beloved god someday <3

Helios is no stranger to people claiming to be his god, he's seen it countless times over the countless eons he's lived. He has better things to do than involve himself with idiot mortals and their issues. He'll just mark it down in his journal as a rumor (since he's not too bothered to confirm the information) that occurred at the time.

Sadly for imposter au, this means he's not going to hunt you down on first mention and figure everything out.

Now, should the rumor persist, he may actually see it as something worth recording. He'd start with wherever they'd turned up first and seek out the truth, which means he's not going to take whatever's said at face value, he'll use his powers to look into the past itself if he has to.

If it's a true imposter, his interest in them will end there. He'll only continue to record their story due to the significance it has to the people of Teyvat, seeing as it's the hot story of the time. Best an objective view remains among the hatred and fearmongering.

If the imposter really is innocent, his interest will tinge with pity for the poor soul who'd been branded for the face they were born with, again, something he'd seen many times in other worlds. A shame that he couldn't feel your aura through the magic. He'll trace their steps through their journey, feeling sorry enough for them that he'll record their legacy. Perhaps, if it is read in the future, it might save another.

Now, Helios can travel anywhere in an instance, though he usually prefers to go on foot. But, with a job to do, he'll teleport at least a few times. Match that with the fact the "imposter" has to hide, he'll eventually catch up.

He has no intention to speak with an ordinary mortal, true imposter or not. But if it's you? Your imposter au is over! yay!

Helios will immediately take you away from Teyvat to the twins' abode (your original home) where you'll be safe, have company, and be able to regain your powers and memories at your leisure. Whatever you want, you'll have.

And you'll have a fancy and comfortable seat to watch Teyvat's slow destruction for their sins.

and if there's an imposter ruling teyvat, he doesn't give a shit about them or their followers & will just write it down as another reason that teyvat sucks and they should just ditch the entire planet.

Assassin: Any last words?

Darling: Just one.

Darling: BABIES!!

Cyres & Cryas: [appear out of nowhere]

Darling: Play nice with your new chew toy.

MC: Barb, let me take care of the baby and go to sleep.

Barbatos: Oh no, dear. You need to rest well after the pregnancy.

MC: It has been a few weeks.

Barbatos: Rest for nine months.

MC: Barb.

Barbatos: *cradling their baby*

Barbatos: Dada will take care of you while Mama gains their strength. *smiles*

MC: ...

Diavolo: *laughs* Is that why you're here to cover his shift?

MC: Yes.

Diavolo: I'm sure he's going to be mad once he found out.

MC: I told him I am on a vacation—

Barbatos: Dear. *standing behind them*

Diavolo: ...

MC: ...

Diavolo: I tried to stop them. They didn't listen.

MC: What the—

Barbatos: I believe you and I will need to talk. *smiling*

Simeon and Solomon: *chuckles*

Simeon: I shouldn't have asked Luke to wake them up.

Solomon: Oh come on. Let Luke have his fun. He's been waiting for this.

Luke: *snuggling against MC, sharing with their blanket*

Barbatos: *enters the room* What's taking you so lon— Oh. *smiles*

Simeon: Can the breakfast wait?

Barbatos: Absolutely. Young master can starve for a few minutes.

Solomon: That's bad. *chuckles*

Luke: *rubbing the drowsiness from his eyes*

Luke: I'm sorry for being late... MC won't wake up.

Diavolo: Oh? *amused face*

MC: I don't remember being woken up.

Simeon: I agree. Luke, I think you went straight ahead and sleep with them.

Luke: But I really tried...

MC: That's enough now. We're already late for school. Not that it matters because the demon prince is here.

Diavolo: *laughs* Is this power-tripping?

MC: Sure does. *laughs with him*

MC: Anyway, has anyone seen my phone?

Solomon: I think Barbatos is keeping it?

Barbatos: I have to. The brothers won't stop texting you, begging you to come back.

MC: *sigh* I'll come back to them after a year. That's the deal you have with them, right?

Luke: Just a year? I thought you will live with us permanently.

Diavolo: All hell will break loose if they do that.

Simeon: *laughs* Let's just enjoy this year together.