Latest Posts by joonsdiiimple - Page 3

I actually feel numb.

I don't know what else to do now, im scared. My girlfriend told me to do everything calmly, that at the end of the day even the most intelligent people repeat courses. But no, they don't. They get to go ahead to practice, while those who couldn't reach the minimum stay behind. And well, I'm staying behind.

I know I've been thru a lot this year. I've had multiple mental breakdowns, i even got admitted because of a psychotic episode. But i'm so low on respecting myself that to me it just looks like excuses to not work. I know i can do it, that if i wanted to, i could reach the stars. But it feels that even if i try and put my best efforts, it's not enough. I'm still behind.

I just wanted to be a doctor, for gods sake. But i should've just shoot lower and become a teacher or linguist. Forget about that dream of becoming a doctor. I don't have the potential, im not as useful as im supposed to be. People don't trust my habilitet, because i haven't shown any to anybody. I'm not a doctor, I'm just some girl who thought she could become one and was wrong. I'm just some girl who spend most of her adolescence studying to get an scholarship but now can't even stay on the same rythm than anybody else. My dreams never became true.

I want blood running thru my arms

I miss my girlfriend so much

Me: I've done this before, of course I can exist without eating chametz !!

Me the second day of pesach, craving a cookie:

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. 10 PLAGUES OF EGYPT!🩸🩸🩸🐸🐸🐸🪰🪰🪰🐅🐅🐅🐂🐂🐂🥵🥵🥵⛈️⛈️⛈️ 🦗🦗🦗 🌑🌑🌑🪦🪦🪦

While kids still do those weird trends, and I'm still around, you'll never miss them

I love you a lot

I've realized that i am indeed, falling for her. With everything: pain, fear and terror, I'm falling in love again.

I keep repeating the same memory «here's your sweater and... Look what i got». Her holding yellow flowers. She looked so pretty, the way she smiles at me. It's so amazing i can't even describe it.

I just can't get myself together, how is this happening to me again? How did i not notice? I did see the signs. Me staring and smiling like an idiot, i always want to see her and kiss her and... Oh god, i am falling.

She's so special, it feels like she's the voice of calm and reason every time i lose my senses. I love how she's always around, i adore and crave her touch.

I need to write a letter.

Pls pls don't think im still in love. That love destroyed me and made me wanna tear my skin off because of how painful it was. I dont hate her, but that doesn't mean i still want her. I want you

Days off antipsychotics and feeling the void

Madly in love

no wonder JAJAJ

I just want to see you, please

Ay no, que mala persona soy

finally

— June Gehringer, ‘I get so jealous of euthanized dogs’ (via lunamonchtuna)

Lola Lecomte, i miss her so much

nice personality. Who did u steal it from

Update: I told her about that comment while on call and she told me "what a dickhead". At first i didn't want to tell her that it was a tinder girl because I was afraid of being told again that it was my fault. She told me "No, don't worry, I won't say something like that. She said something out of place, that's not your fault".

I've been insecure since that "ohh, but if it was a comment about fucking you, you wouldn't be so mad" by one of those tinder girls. I'm afraid she'll leave me, even worse, she'll leave because I'm an easy girl and i never communicate

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS GO AWAY GO AWAY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

I've been insecure since that "ohh, but if it was a comment about fucking you, you wouldn't be so mad" by one of those tinder girls. I'm afraid she'll leave me, even worse, she'll leave because I'm an easy girl and i never communicate

Psiquiatra cabrón "most patients have symptoms since they're young" okay then ASK ME ask me how i was as a child and you'll see I've been sick since. I don't think it's normal the way I've been living since i was a teenager. Meds have helped me, but i keep feeling this emptiness and paranoia. I'm getting crazier by the minute.

I'm both fresh out of rehab and out of any good judgment

Since drunkies don't lie, I wish i was your girlfriend. I wish i wasn't condemned to be your side dish. Treating me like a main without the privileges of one...

Tf is that supposed to mEan likeeeeee ?????????? JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. We were kissing just now and-

I am not hiding anything. You're now welcome into my world, my vulnerabilities. I'm not trying to hide.