Ed Not Sheeren - Blog Posts

i aspire to have the vibes of dead n gone by luci4 its actual th1n$p0 motivation for me 😭

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

To anyone that tries to guilt people into not hurting/hating themselves because "it hurts you too" FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF!!!! You have no say in what we do or how we think about ourselves. It is our choice. Let us deal with it. Putting guilt on us is only going to make it worse. Just because you like us doesn't mean we have to like ourselves. You have no idea what we feel like. What it feels like to want to peel your own skin off because of something that happened years ago. Wanting to drive into oncoming traffic just to finally have some semblance of peace. Wanting to waste away until there is nothing left... Not even bones. Wanting to evaporate. Not even wanting to restart anymore, you just want it to end. How the fuck do you think it's ok to tell us that it would hurt you when you don't have a clue the amount of pain we are in.

FUCK YOU

Current mood = Brown clouds

I just feel so super empty and numb today. I miss surfing. I miss my parents. I miss my old friends. I miss dancing. I miss falling asleep to k-dramas and walks to grams. I miss caring. ED... Why did you do this to me? I'm locked in a cage with you and I want to escape but without you... Without you I feel like I lose myself. Maybe I just hate myself. I hate this.

Current mood = Grey clouds

Why are all my friends skinny and I'm the only whale in the room? Why can they eat so much when they want and I'm still broken and struggling? Why me?

Current mood = Purple clouds

Why does my head scream at me? I know I'm stupid for eating 3 packets of crisps instead of just eating a salad today. You don't have to scream at me during sleep hours!

Here I am

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Just a 27yr old Aussie girl 🦘🇦🇺 living in USA 🏈🇺🇲

What do I say? I'm back on Tumblr after failing so hard. It's the only place I feel accepted and understood. That's me, just a girl trying to hold everything together 😿

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

My stats

I'm fat. That's my stats.

Height/165 cm

SW/106 kg

CW/106 kg

UGW/50 kg

Wishful thinking GW/0 kg I don't even want a body.

I hate knowing I have a problem but not having a diagnosis by my therapist because then it's so hard to explain what happens to you and you're less understood, you cannot say anything because you don't have a diagnosis yet

im baaaack. fell off the wagon a bit 😔 but I have prom in June so I NEED to lose as much weight as possible. I ain't gonna be remembered as the fat bitch. I refuse 🖐️😒

tell me why tiktok decides to show me food videos when I'm relapsing? like bitch, let me ⭐ve in peace 😮‍💨

I need some tips, how do you hide your ED around your parents?

Can anyone suggest the best vitamins to take when you are fasting?

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 10

I started my red days today and feel really poopie right now. Fortunately we have strong medicine for cramps at home so I will live. I fasted down the weight I put in during the weekend but now I have a feeling that it may or may not have been because of the approach of my period. It doesn't really matter.

Been craving garlic cream soup for a while now, but since its a cream soup I'm sure it's full of unnecessary calories that I don't need rn. Plus I would be too lazy to cook it so im better off fasting.

My sister asked me if I wanted to try her lavender green tea she bought and I was stupid enought to put some sugar substitute (0 cal) and a bit of lemon juice in it, even though I am used to drink plain tea.

Also I have been thinking that I should start working out but I really hate the feeling of sweat on my body, so I'm gonna look for something that is not too tiring for the mornings and not too time consuming.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Lavender green tea 450ml - 0 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6953/10000 - 281 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 281 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 5.

As happy as I was in the morning, I broke my fast of 42 hours because of a bowl of pasta and few pieces of broccoli. Then later my mom informed me that we are having pizza for dinner, even tho I deliberately asked her not to tempt me and allow me to get weak when I say I crave a certain thing.

In the end it was fine, I restarted my fast an hour or two later and now I am fasting through friday and the majority of saturday.

I am still really weak when it comes to certain food and that's fine. I know that my willpower is not the best but it's getting better.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➂ Slices of pizza - 612 cal

➀ Spagetti pasta and broccoli with thousand island dressing and hot sauce 225g - 272 cal + 108 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (ginger & lemon) - 47 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 1042 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8335/10000 - 335 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 335 cal

I JUST REACHED MY FIRST GW!!!! AAAAA

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 4.

I am 24 hours (I am logging this the next day on the 5th, but once 10pm hit on the 4th it was the 24 hour mark) in my fast and so far I am feeling well! I cooked risotto for my family today and it was so tempring to eat but i needed to steel myself. Been craving garlic cream soup tho all week ao far and maybe next week I will make some.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➁ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

Water - 2.3l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8284/10000 - 334 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 334 cal

I noticed yesterday that creame colored flare jeans were looser on me than last time and I am really happy.

Same with my mom fit kinda jeans and my fave pink sweater. It is exhilarating to notice these things.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 3.

Fasting through the day didn't happen because I binged lmao. Not with some really tempting food but with fish and eggs because they are my safe food and I like them a lot LOT, so I just couldn't help myself. I also realized that I quite like carbonara too even though for long I just couldn't even eat it because of the "weird" (at least for me it was) taste. Kinda ashamed, but as long as I stay under 1200 cals in the end (with how much I burnt) I am content.

Today was a long ass day too and I am exhausted. I made a promise to myself that I am fasting through tomorrow and the day after, plus my best friend is coming home this weekend and I need to prepare to hang out and drink with her, so three day fast it is.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➃ Fish and eggs sandwiches - 576 cal

➀ Hell energy drink (lemon & ginger) - 117 cal

➀ Choccochino (200ml) - 117 cal

➂ Pickwick green tea (250ml) (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Small bowl of carbonara (220g) - 437 cal

Water - 1.5l/2l

Full - 1247 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 7868/10000 - 316cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 316 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 2.

I ate only this morning and fasted the whole day. Tomorrow is another sucky one because I accompany mom to her work place then go to school so she will ask me to bring something and knowing myself I will eat it probably, but let's hope for the best!

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Apples (211g) - 110 cal

➀ Black coffee with ice - 0 cal

➀ Tuna-egg-mayo sandwich - 280** cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0cal

Water - 3l/2l

Full - 390** cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8510/10000 - 346 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 346 cal

*edit - math is not my strong suit and i added the tomorrow's sandwich's stats too...

**edit 2 - I forgot that I need to count in percentage when I multiply (my last math lesson was 2 years ago)

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ edblr intro!

I support recovery! Please take care of yourselves!

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

♡ Via/Anonyma

♡ 20 years old

♡ 5'4 - 165 cm

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

₊˚⊹♡ hw: 187 lbs - 85 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 1st gw: 165 lbs - 75 kg - REACHED on OCT. 5

₊˚⊹♡ 2nd gw: 154 lbs - 70 kg - REACHED on DEC. 6

₊˚⊹♡ 3rd gw: 143 lbs - 65 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 4th gw: 132 lbs - 60 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 5th gw: 121 lbs - 55 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 6th gw: 110 lbs - 50 kg

₊˚⊹♡ ugw: 100 lbs - 45 kg

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

I play games like resident evil, dmc, metal gear, but I also like watching anime and cartoons.

Looking for moots and friends to interact with! ₊ ⊹

Feel free to dm, rb and like if you are active!