My Words - Blog Posts

Dear Wolrd,

The other day, I came across a video that said when someone is not meant to be with you the universe will do anything to make you two fall apart.

But, can't it see? Can't the universe see that I'm holding on a thread for that person. Can't the universe see that my soul is perishing for the person. And why is it that the universe gives me mixed feelings about that person. Are you confused too universe?

You're lonely?

You mean you write down all your feelings in a journal or as a note in your phone because you have no one to pour them out to who can truly understand you.

- We all break at a point. How long are you going to hold on?

- Forever. I'll hold on forever if I have to.

I used to be this happy soul with a goofy personality.

Now I look at people around me and wonder how they are able to smile in this chaotic world.

I wish to make my love pure again.

𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓶.

I love him in a way,

Inexplicable by my soul.

I love him in a way,

That can only be felt.

I love him in a way,

Where peace and chaos coexist.

𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓻𝓾𝓷 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓲𝓶.

Even when the earth beneath my feet is crumbling,

Even when the oceans of the world are raging,

Even when the sky is at war manisfesting storms,

Even when everything around me is burning in hell fire,

Even when souls around me are leaving their bodies,

I will always run back to him.

I wish I could turn back time,

To when we had our first connection.

I would write our story all over again,

But this time with more experience.

Nothing more can be scarier than the fact when you realise that your life isn't happening , it is just passing.

I won’t understand why people would bully other people for dressing alt or anything like that. Like, just admit you’re jealous that your outfit isn’t as cool or interesting; nobody is going to care. It’s fine. And if you wanted to, start trying to dress the same. You can be cool too

(Generative) AI is like a brain-melting parasite that sucks the life out of its hosts’ ideas and creativity and moves on when stuffed, carrying the last of its meal on it as it feasts on other unwilling people. Also like how bees do with pollen and nectar, but in a less beautiful way.

(If that makes sense-)

If you were a puzzle piece and I was a square, I would ruin my edges just so we could fit together.

If I were to tell you all that hurts, if I were to open all my scars again, Oh darling would you let me bleed in your hands?

I have not much to give but I'll tear out my heart if you ask to hold it.

It's been so long and I'm dying to share something I recently wrote. Just few of my own opinions and words. This prose is never directed to spread hate and is just a debate against the motion of the topic I was given randomly so I thought to write and share.

'Men’s And Their Obsession Over Proving That Feminism Is Overrated And Should Not Exist'

Feminism, a word that comes from the French word féminisme and is now used worldwide in aspect to support economic, personal, and social equality among the genders. Now that we have attained the basic terminology to avoid disagreements in my words by the people who had gaslighted their little minds to believe that feminism disregards the rights of other genders, I would love to begin.

An anti-feminist tried to convince me that men are stronger. I told him that’s right, men’s are stronger especially in holding onto outdated ideas.

Decades are floating by like cumulus clouds in the sky yet I’m very ashamed to say that one specific gender has failed to develop and coordinate their perspective of females in a way other than degradation or misogyny. Whether it is ogling or eyeballing the women in skirts then making sexist jokes behind their back which they justify by calling it dark humor or being openly demeaning towards the women of society, men’s never fail to let us know the vile and utterly disgusting mindset they have towards the opposite gender.

The sheer audacity of males to claim feminism as unnecessary when just a moment later they go on social media to leave downgrading jokes on a women’s anatomy is downright laughable. All these centuries women’s fight for their rights and support campaigns just to come home to their son harassing girls online and making wretched and nauseating comments about girls his age.

Is that what we have evolved to after years of education and awareness? You say we don’t need feminism yet every women carry at least one weapon while going out on jobs or wherever. Men’s say we need them for our protection but answer me, protection from who? Exactly, men’s are the one creating a terrifying environment for women then they claim to be the one who will protect us. How outrageously ironic!

The rising harassment cases, domestic violence on women, less salary than the males working in same department and whatnot reasons are present that points towards the need of feminism yet they cannot come out of their little hateful world to acknowledge the truth and add to the support. We lecture our girls to not wander at night, not wear short clothes but why don’t we raise our voices on boys who whistle when a girl walks by or give them a tight slap when they make horrid comments about her clothes? Do we go blind or do we go deaf when such things happen? If not so then why don’t those men tell us if they have ever tried to restrict other guys or their sons like they restrict women’s. That’s right, they can’t because everyone knows the truth.

To all those anti-feminist who asks women to cover up to avoid harassment, I demand, WHO ARE YOU? and HOW DARE YOU? to tell us what we should wear or not. Maybe if they tried to grow some brain, pick their mind from gutter and learn to keep their filthy hands to themselves than girls don’t have to feel so unsafe while walking to home at night.

Every male who argues that feminism isn’t needed because women’s are placed below men and according to how the nature works they are just made to breed and they should do what nature has made them to do, I would love to enhance their knowledge about nature. When a male praying mantis mates with a female there are several cases when the female mantis bites the male mantis’s head off. Female anacondas also many times eat their males after mating because it provides them with nutrients. If women should go according to nature just like those anti-feminist says then they should also not question it if one day females decide to cook their husband or bite his head off. Look how ridiculous it sounds, just like the justification a misogynist provide for his/her actions.

If we look at the data available then we will come to realize how big of a role feminism has played in our society to help women. To disregard it is no better than fighting against women’s rights. The only right way to end my words here is by calmly and generously asking the male gender to acknowledge the efforts and benefit of feminism rather than stubbornly sticking to their hateful personality like a toddler.

*STAIN*

It was dried with fire of sun

But still shinned bright on the white

Small enough to ignore

But red enough to resist

He marked her with evilness in all eyes.

She was cursed,

Left alone to fight with thousand knives betraying inside her ,

While her flower bloomed too bright to hide.

Alone , afraid she was.

All those eyes ,black, brown, green , blue made her stranger in yesterday's loving world.

After so long, the world was static .

From centuries past still we are in the depth of darkness.

a walk at night, and i was looking up with her

and she said "the moon is so pretty tonight"

and i agreed and said they must be related

and i forgot most of what happened after that

I need to be so close to her I can't feel her but am her. We merge like greek mythology referencing soulmates, my hands trace up her neck to the back of her head and I hold her chin like she belongs to me. We kiss. I no longer think and no longer am.

i still bite my lips when i am stressed, and no habit of mine has ever died. i pick it up and i carry it around, another weight that weighs nothing on how i live only how im seen. my nails are always short and i still havent found my nail clippers, why cant i stop-not a question.

i still get excited when i hear my phone knowing its not you

i fell between the intercrosses of our fingers weaving as our palms closed together and lost myself wherever that has gone, so please dont let go of me

the taste of her mouth lit me up like a flame, and as her hands shook in excitement and not unwelcomeness i succumb to her hands guiding my own to her face

the words i wrote about you makes the thoughts i wished with you seem shameful

i consumed you the way i consume media, i dont know if i loved you enough for the cannibalism metaphor

i suffer from addictions, it seems when something fascinates me it's all i can think about or do. i take too much pleasure in playing chess, and get too upset when i lose. i take too much time into my instruments, and lose myself in them in the ways i should not. and also as simple as coffee, i cannot go a day without a cup.

i suppose i am at least glad you fascinate me, and you allow me to let me be addicted. but god am i terrified for the withdrawals because i treat you like a drug.

ultimately where humanity fails is where man succumbs to greed more than he does to love

-journal entry from Nov. 3rd, 2024

he stares at me like im adored and i know his eyes arent even for meeting my own, i should not look at him like he can be mine, and i should not already be his

i trace your scars, like stretch marks, like scratches

the very things you are insecure about i love, despite your doubt

and if love is an action id commit it like a crime to keep you

i trace your face like an outline, acting as if i wont forget it

i trace your sides like an act of desperation, acting as if i want more than what you give me

i trace your hands, and give you my right when it aches, knowing you prefer to hold that one

ataraxia is serene and blissful but tell me why i exist in a calmness that discomforts me

About loving you

Yes

I feel stranded

on a lonely island in the middle of nowhere

nothing but the tide

that keeps me alive

day after day

wave after wave

Yes

I feel lost

in space where darkness is everything

stars flying by gifting me wishes

that may never come true

knowing my only wish

will forever be you

Yes

I feel overlooked

in the middle of a field, branches twelve feet high

beetles crawling side by side

fearing getting crushed by them

missing the safety

of your arms around me

Yes

I feel love

wherever I am, no matter the time

it’s stroking my side

there’s no place to hide

it’s my true love for you

I just wish that you knew

Yes

I really do

~honestlywhatfor

Life turns its shades to people who take it seriously.