Ts Remus - Blog Posts

Remus, plopping in the kitchen: It's so hard to find a good top these days.

Roman: Right?? It's impossible!

Remus: It's like, too restricting, or too loose, or too short—

Roman: Too short? That's really a dealbreaker for you?

Remus: I mean, unless it's cropped, then yeah. It's a big problem, being above average height.

Roman: *comprehends*

Roman: *slowly turns bright red*

Remus: ...

Remus: We're both talking about shirts, right?

Roman, mumbling: Shut up.

Virgil, raising an eyebrow: I thought Remus was the—

Roman, redder: SHUT UP.

Logan: I saw online today, someone freaking out about how you bake cookies and cook bacon.

Janus: Yeah, I never got that whole thing. I mean, you bake bacon.

Logan: ...Pardon?

Janus:

Janus: Do

Janus: Do you

Janus: Do you not bake bacon in the oven on a cookie sheet

Logan: No?? You fry it??

Janus: But it gets so crispy and nice ?? Why would you fry it???

Logan: *looks to Remus*

Remus: Don't look at me, I've had Janus's bacon. It's superior.

Logan: But that's not how it's done??? No bacon recipe says to bake it?

Janus: Oh I don't follow recipes exactly

Logan: But thEY'RE RULES

Janus: I mean recipes are really just suggestions when you have enough experience

Logan: (head explodes because oh my god everything Janus makes tastes so good and he's not even using recipes—)

I feel like that could be for a few reasons, these are the ones that make the most sense to me:

1. Logan's speaking for the fans, as Apollo is the god of prophecy/oracles, and we're definitely wishing there was more orange side stuff especially considering it was 'prophesied' by the fans that Logan and the Orange side would be connected/Logan would be the Orange side

2. Logan's referring to how Apollo is the god of truth/knowledge and Logan (truth/knowledge) was really ignored that episode

3. Apollo, being the 'averter of evil,' could have kept Remus at bay

4. Apollo, being the god of healing/health, could have helped C!Thomas's mental state

Bonus, kind of joking, kind of not:

5. The orange side's name is Apollo and Logan knows him

6. Logan is referring to himself because Apollo is the hottest god (pun intended)

But since Apollo is the god of just about everything it's gonna be really hard to know what he meant until Thomas tells us

Does anyone have any thoughts on the line “If only Apollo had more influence today” ?

Im just slightly confused by it…. Aphrodite makes sense to reference as the goddess of love, but why Apollo? Music and the sun and archery and healing and stuff? Why is that the god Logan chooses to reference? I might just be missing something obvious lol

Patton. "I wonder what's in that closet. Nope, don't even check."

Remus. "I'll check. What if I open this and a thousand rattlesnakes jump out?"

Patton. "Then I'm gonna run."

Remus. "Alright. Let's boogie, boys!" (Opens closet.) "It's a mattress. And dirt."

(Later)

Patton. "What's in this one?"

Remus. "This is fun, because now you have to open this door, because I opened that one. What if you pick the wrong one and there's like a, a clown with a decaying face in there?"

Patton. (Mocking) "'What if you pick the wrong one and there's a fucking clown with a decaying face in there?'"

Logan. "Open the door. Stop joking."

Patton. (Pause) "What if— Okay, I'm running, just letting you know."

Remus. Oh my god.

Janus. What?

Remus. It's a fucking dead bird.

Janus. What? Oh, that's an omen, or something.

Patton. Why is there a dead bird in here?

Logan. There was probably a live bird in here and then something happened that made it dead.

Remus. Oh. Great analysis, doc. Oh Jesus, it's all rotted and it's eyes are gone, this is horrifying.

Logan. Well, its eyes aren't gonna stick around.

Concept: Janus tries to teach the other sides to sew (I've been sewing a lot and this is all I can think of)

Remus: Is doing pretty well, has continued to stab needles and sewing scissors into his eyes so his workspace is a bit bloody, you can tell he is making an octopus though

Virgil: Refuses to use a sewing machine because it scares him (a very reasonable fear), uses thimbles, it's slow and clumsy but he makes a pretty cool stuffed stormcloud in the end

Patton: Is doing surprisingly well! He keeps stabbing his fingers with needles on accident and drawing blood (not much though), he ends up with a cute little blob frog that's definitely friend-shaped

Logan: He watched Janus sew once and immediately got the hang of it. He made a stuffed cube. It is a perfect cube. None of them know how he did this. He can't thread a needle to save his life though, he has to keep asking Janus to do it for him

Roman: Was crying because he tried something much too complicated and failed and Janus had to gently coax him back to the workspace and help him make a simpler design and assure him he wasn't a failure and the second design turned out and he was really happy with it and thanked Janus for not giving up on him and Janus just gave him a little smile

Imagine: Instead of putting salt around doorways/windowsills to keep demons/ghosts out, the sides use grated soap to keep Remus out

Are we all ignoring the fact that Remus is canonically allergic to soap now??

Like

Could you imagine Roman holding a bar of soap like a sword in order to fend Remus off?

Or, if the Sides want to keep Remus out of a room, they line all the entrances with soap.

There's so many possible headcanons here ya'll--

Remus: One cactus.

Patton: No. No, put the cactus down. No cacti in the pumpkin cookies.

Patterns: cut

Colors: matched

Bois: pinned together

Reference boi: ready

Special eyes for the special boi: Ready

Alternative to 'Working Through Intrusive Thoughts' Episode (no spoilers)

Janus: *sewing peacefully*

Janus: *cuts thread*

Remus: Y'know, those scissors are really sharp. You could poke them in your eye right now. Not even too hard, just cut your lenses. Do you think that would bleed? What would your vision look like? Would it leave a scar or make your eye look weird and blob-like? Or would it be foggy?

Janus, handing him a beanbag frog: This is for you.

Remus:

:0

Remus, squishing it: He,,, he bean,,, he sound like bean,,,

(Episode end.)

SCREECH

WTIT SPOILERS

(NEWEST SANDERS ASIDES SPOILERS)

Oh my GOD so

1. Someone FINALLY recognized that as a part of Thomas, Remus has to have importance!!!

2. Real life Nico!!

3. Logan dumping out his coffee and replacing it with wine? ICONIC

4. HIS EYES! We were all right!!! I think!! Logan's gonna get mad and go dark so Thomas pays attention to him and become the orange side!! I literally made Logan's eyes orange in one of my dark side Logan aus! And he's definitely a dark side because of Remus's 'now you're speaking my language'!!

5. The end! Virgil chilling in the roots of a tree, Janus, the snake with the apple, up in the branches, assuring that 'everything is just fine'

6. Logan trying to understand the others while they constantly brush him off!!

7. The orange eyes at the very end!!

8. REMUS AND LOGAN CONTENT!!!

9. ALL THE SIDES TOGETHER IN ONE EPISODE!

10. ORANGE SIDE CONTENT

11. REALLY GOOD ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THAT I REALLY NEEDED RIGHT NOW

12. SHOWING REMUS'S WORK PROCESS

13. REMUS BEING ALLERGIC TO S O A P

14. THE ENTIRE THING

15. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

̴̨̨̨̜͓̟͍̮̰̠͖̜̦̙̗̤̯̱͓̠̠͍̙̞͈̯̼̭̥͇͓͍̲̌̔́̍̐͐̌̆͒̌̇͗̔̿̀͑͋̃̌͛̓̈̿̈́̆̓̓̓̌͑͊̚͠ͅͅA̶̧̡̛̛͖͇̟͚͉̟̯̙̎̑̈́̌̈̔̽͊͋̌̅͐̕͘ͅḨ̴̛̦̗͚͚̩̮͙̬͊̽͋͌͗̄͐̅͋̏̀́̐̋̊̈̈́͗̏̃͑͂̔͂̓̀̈̓̈́̕̕̚̕͜͝͝ͅḨ̸̢̛̲͇̹͔͉̦̮͚̱͖̹͓̱̻̣̼̤̣͚̳̣̂̈́̎̈́̓̎̅͌̇̒̾͒̃̒̍̿̚̚͜͜͜͝H̸̜͎̺͆̓́̈́́͛Ḩ̴̡̛̟̗̩͚̣̝͓̹̣̤̟̞̯̯̠͓̰͕̣̜̺͈͔̺͈͔͈̭̟̈́́͑̿͒̍͗̌͋̒̉͌͐̽̽͌̔́͛͆̈͆̈́̈̈́͛́͋̕͘̚̕͜͝͝ͅH̶͎̰̦̠̤̯͖̠͓̩͎̿̓̔͊̓͆͛͘Ḣ̴̢͚̬͇̼͍̗͔̞̘͖̝͚̝͎̥̟̠̜̜̙̞̤̩̦͙͉̭̥̯̺͚̭͎̹͙͎̖̰͇̈̓͋H̸̛͚̽̒̀̊͆̑̋̓̈́̽̎̂͌͐͌̔̋̎̀̄̐̏͐͛̋̈́͒͗̆̈́̑̍͘͝͝Ḫ̸̢̢̛̛̩̹̰̞̹͕͕̪͍̟̩̗̠̯͉̳̯͕̝͐̊͐̏̈́́̇̂̈́̑̓͋̓̋̐͂͐̔͛̚̕̕̚͜͝͠͠͝ͅH̸̘͓̠͖̰̪͌̎H̵̢̨̥̠͖̬̦̭̙͉͙̜̋̆́̏̓̓̍̽̄̒͜H̸̰͕̹͕͊̉͐̈́͐̋̇̈́̃͝͠H̵̢̧̥̺̩̻͎̮̣̖̳͍͎̻͇̻̭͚͚̯̦̅̾̀͜͜ͅH̶̢̡̡̧͉̼͚̘̫͕̺̹̹̻̝̼̦͍͕͇̞̱̳̤̖̗͍͇̗̦͍̃̓͆̾̂̂̋̾̀̌̽̓͒͑͛̾͒̀̚̕͘̕ͅͅͅͅͅḨ̵̧̡̛̮̤͙͖̖̗̘͈̪̰̞̙͇̥̹̣͕̠̲̠̤̣͇̈́̾̔̏̅͂̈̀͌͌̈̿̽͋͆̔̈̏̄͗̀͆̂̚̚͘͠͝ ̴̧̡̢̟͈̭͖̭̪͉̥̳̞͙̞͙͉̯̻̟̼͙͈̝̻̣̱̱̍͜ ̵̡̧̟̺̟̫̰͓͙͎̼̲̗̤̭͔̼̤̻͕͔͚͛̈̐̑̇͊͊̏͋̊͘

Do you take headcanon requests? If you do I have one.

Headcanon request: The sides if a girl (maybe a stranger who thinks they look safe) asks them to hold her drink while she goes to the bathroom at like a party or something?

Absolutely, I think you're asking for their individual reactions (tell me if I'm misunderstanding) so here we go—

Roman: *guards drink with his life, glares at anyone who gets near it, is very over-the-top*

Janus: I'm a stranger. Why would you ask me to watch your drink? You should just forget about this one and get a new one once you're back so you know for certain it's safe. Or don't drink at parties. You never know who you can trust.

Remus: Yeah sure *sets it on top of head, holding onto it still* No one can reach it up here

Patton: Oh of course! You go ahead I've gotcha

Logan: No. You shouldn't give a stranger your drink. I could drug it for all you know. Take it with you, leave it with a friend, or get a new one after.

Virgil: Uhhh

Virgil, internally: Oh god what if I accidentally drug it?? I don't have any drugs but what if I do? I'd go to prison! I could hurt her!

Virgil: *shoves Roman in front of him* He can watch it!

Embarrassing Music #3

Roman, having recovered: Okay, so I didn't catch Virgil, but someone else has to listen to embarrassing music. Let me think...

Roman: So, Remus and Patton don't get embarrassed about that stuff. I doubt Logan listens to music with words anyway. So... What, D— Janus? What does he even listen to?

Roman: (imagines Janus sitting at a table sipping tea while a classical waltz plays in the background)

Roman: I mean, that might be worse than dancing, especially if he's alone.

Meanwhile, in the dark side:

Remus:

WE'LL SET THE SKY ON FIRE

Janus:

WE'LL PUT THE NIGHT AWAY

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

Janus:

WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU HIGH

Remus:

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THE FLAMES

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

(I wrote down who actually said the quote if it wasn't him)

(Yeah, you fell off the wagon.)

Remus: "Fell off the wagon? I dragged that wagon into the woods and burned it."

Janus: "I should go get some cheese do go into all the whine in here."

(Where'd you hear that?)

Janus: "Like every movie ever."

Remus: "You just sprinkle some lime over it— lime could cover the scent of a dead body."

Logan (my brother): "And lye could dissolve it."

Virgil: "I love it up here. Like, here is like where you can sprinkle my ashes."

Roman: "(County)? I– That's where I go hunting for antelope. There's like six people and four skunks that live there."

Janus: "He was talking to the chairman of the committee of bullshit."

Patton: "A platypus looks like a beaver ran into a duck."

Roman: "Oh yeah— Do I still need to impress you?"

Virgil (my mother): "Every day until we die."

Remus: "Even a blind pig finds an acorn in its shit every once in a while."

Patton, completely unprompted: "You ever seen a pig in a french fry hat?"

Janus: "Milford, Nebraska: Where the men are men and sometimes the women are too."

Patton, severely allergic to bees (my mother): "Ah! Close it! There are bees in it!"

Remus, holding jar of honey: "It's fresh!"

Also, to be more lighthearted—

Roman/Remus: Please convince Thomas to do a Minecraft letsplay series sometime. Also please ask Patton why he asked what a ship was/to show you some of that 'neato artwork and writing.'

Janus: Only answer the ones you're comfortable with: How many arms can you have? (Like is six the max?) Are your scales only on your face? Do the gloves serve a purpose other than a fashion statement/symbolism? Where did you get your hat?

Patton: Please, please, please tell the other sides about ships (if you haven't). It would be funny!

Logan: Please teach me more about psychology. If you don't have time then please just tell me what books/texts you have so I can read them.

Virgil: (I'd swap playlists with him. His taste in music seems close to mine. I'd also ask what other Disney movies he recommends because I watched The Black Cauldron and loved it.)

Nobody Asked, But If I Could Say One Thing To Each Of The Sides, They'd Be:

Roman: We appreciate you. Not everything you make has to be the work of Adam (Driver). It's okay to mess up. You aren't just Thomas's hero; you're the hero of a lot of fans too.

Orange: TBD. (Right now, 'Come out, come out, wherever you are!')

Janus: Thank you. Also, I think your name is awesome.

Remus: You aren't evil. You're just as important as the other sides.

Patton: It's okay to say 'I don't know.' You aren't supposed to have all the answers. You aren't letting anyone down.

Logan: I listen when you're talking, and I learn from you, and I know a lot of other fans do. You can show your emotions, we know you have them. We'll always take you seriously.

Virgil: We love you. You've never been the villain— you've always been looking out for Thomas's safety.

(I know some of them aren't really 'one thing' shh)

(I know Remus is as important as everyone else because @thatsthat24 doesn't make one-dimensional sides. All the sides are like onions: they have several layers and once they're revealed you usually start crying)

Roman, in the tune of Uptown Funk: I'm too hot!

Logan: *gets up and turns down the heat*

Roman, internally: Yeah, okay, I guess he doesn't know that song

The next day—

Remus, in the tune of Uptown Funk: I'm too hot!

Logan, looking Roman dead in the eyes: Hot damn.

Roman: *gasp*

BETRAYAL.

[Virgil, quietly: Guess we know who Logan's favorite twin is...]

...Is this showing who each other's counterpart is?

Because intrusive thoughts can be incredibly immoral, anxiety defies all logic, and creativity/expressing yourself can be stifled by your need to keep yourself safe...

Or am I overthinking everything haha

logan and virgil with the jacket…… roman and janus with the lipstick………………. if patton and remus share something im gonna lose it

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Edit: I remembered Logan got high and followed a hallucination off a cliff (into water luckily), so I think that's dumber XD

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Virgil Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Patton: I haven't, sorry kiddo, I’ll tell you if I see them

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Logan: No. I will inform you if I do.

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you se— Roman?

Roman, frozen:

Virgil: Um, hey? You alright?

Roman: *squeak*

Roman: *falls over*

Virgil: ...Well we don't have time to unpack all of that *sinks out*

Virgil: H—

Janus: No, whatever you're going to ask, I don't, I haven’t, whatever, the answer is no. Now will you people let me soak in peace?

Virgil: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Remus, fully clothed, thoughtfully: I had headphones once. They were crunchy.

Virgil: …Please tell me you didn't eat my headphones.

Remus: No, I don't like the black flavor.

Virgil, used to this: Alright

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Janus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Janus: Where'd you put my hat?

Roman, having hung a towel over the glass shower door, knowing this would happen: I don't know what you mean.

Janus: You know I can tell when you're lying, right?

Roman, smugly: Yep.

Janus: Where’d— oh, god, sorry— *sinks out*

Patton, blushing red from head to toe, whispering: Did that just happen?

Janus: Where— nope— *sinks out*

Logan: ?

Janus: Where’d Roman put my hat?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Janus: Did Roman tell you where he put my hat?

Remus, for once not wearing clothes like a normal person: No. I still think he took my morning star.

Janus: Hm. *starts to sink out*

Remus: Wh— wait! Is that it?

Janus: This isn’t a porn, Remus. I asked you a question, now I leave.

Remus: It could be…

Janus: No. It literally can’t.

Remus, sighing: I saw it in the freezer.

Janus: Thank you.

Remus, getting a new idea: If you get it out now, it might take a minute to defrost.

Janus: You’re stubborn, you know that?

Remus: :(

Janus: I’ll be right back

Remus: :D

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Remus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Patton: I’m afraid not, kiddo.

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Logan: No, get out of my bathroom

Remus: Alright

Remus: Hey Ro—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Remus: *shrieks as well*

Both: *shrieking*

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, without convenient bubbles, as snakes do, though it's nothing Remus hasn't seen before: You probably lost it in your room.

Remus: I already checked

Remus: ...Can I—

Janus: No, you can't join me, get out

Remus: :(

Janus: You did this to yourself, you’re the one who decided to put soap in here

Remus: Once!

Janus: I was coughing bubbles for a week!

Remus: How was I supposed to know you drank through your skin?!

Janus: You aren't, you’re just not supposed to mess with the water!

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Go fuck yourself.

Remus: Understandable, have a great day

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Logan Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Patton, face pink, because he’ll never get used to this: No…

Logan: Roman—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Roman: *still shrieking*

Logan: I’m taking that as a no.

Logan: Have you happened to see my puzzle book?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: No. I’ll tell you if I do.

Logan, unfazed: Great, thank you.

Logan: Remus, I don't suppose you’ve seen my puzzle book?

Remus, showering fully clothed: But you do suppose, or you wouldn't have asked.

Logan: Error. Logan.exe has stopped working.

Logan: Vir— this is my puzzle book! You had it?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Oh… Sorry…

Logan: I respected your privacy for this long, please respect mine.

Virgil, internally: Dude wtf I’m literally showering??

Roman's Quest For Shaving Cream / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Roman Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Roman: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Remus, showering fully clothed: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Roman: Wh— You eat shaving cream?

Remus: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes?

Roman: Hey Pat, do you have shaving cream?

Patton, pink because he’s never going to be used to this: No. I can't grow facial hair.

Roman: ...True. I’m not sure why I asked.

Roman: Hey De— Janus—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Roman, regretting his life: Never mind snakes don't even have hair—

Roman: Hey, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, do you have any shaving cream?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Why on earth would I?

Roman: …

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream?

Logan: Yes. It does have a scent to it, however.

Roman: Oh, that's fine. Is it woody? Or musky?

Logan: It's honey-mango.

Roman: ...What?

Logan: They’re both very good for your skin, and happen to be fragrant.

Roman, after using Logan’s shaving cream: I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

Pancake Day! / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Patton Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Patton: Hey Lo do you know where the pancake mix is?

Logan, used to this, casually shampooing his hair: Behind the mixing bowls in the corner cabinet

Patton: Awesome, thank you. Second question: do you want pancakes?

Logan: Yes, thank you

Patton: Hey R—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Patton: Stop screaming it's just me— do you want pancakes?

Patton: Hey J—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Patton, turning red: I— I'll ask later—

Patton: Hey Virge! Do you want pancakes?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Yes, please.

Patton: Hey, Remus, do you want pancakes for breakfast?

Remus, showering fully clothed: Oh I'm always a slut for pancakes

Patton, internally: I need Logan's cards

How Remus Describes The Other Sides

From a bit in a fic I wrote; basically, Janus sent a letter to a "new dark side" (its dark!Logan) that showed up explaining—

Y'know what I'll just put in the whole excerpt

Welcome to the ‘dark side.’ There are two of us here and four on the ‘light side.’ Fair warning, most of the others don't like us. More details on that and the main things that have happened if you missed it on the back. I look forward to meeting you, it has been quiet ever since Virgil (Now Anxiety, previously Paranoia) left. There's no rush to come out, though. Take your time. — Janus, Self-Preservation (Nicknamed ‘Deceit’)

He flipped it over, seeing a thorough but quick explanation of the split, Virgil switching sides, who the others were, why the lights didn't like the darks, etc. Janus had very nice handwriting.

It was really… Sweet. Nobody had ever been so considerate towards Logan in his life.

...

Hiya! Figured Jan already did the important introduction, professional and shit, but here's whatcha gotta know about the others—

Roman: My brother, kinda! Very dramatic, title is Creativity, his color is red, he always has his sword and knows how to use it so beware! He dresses like a Disney prince. Minus the crown. He has one. He just doesn't wear it.

Janus: You probably got a good gauge of his personality from his letter, his color is yellow, his title is Self-Preservation but the others always call him Deceit (he’s never corrected them), he's got some scales so don't be freaked out when you see him for the first time (y’know those Catholics and their lying snakes)

Me!: I usually write on neon paper didn't wanna ‘til I knew if you were okay with it, I’m Creativity but the non-socially-accepted Creativity so like intrusive thoughts and such, my color is green, I have a morning star fair warning though I hardly use it on people (never used it on anyone but Roman)

Patton: He’s Morality, he’s very confused about a lot of things, loves cats but he’s allergic, color is light blue, scared of spiders (which is hilarious cuz he loves Virgil), he pretends he’s the dad of the group and calls the others kiddo but he’s just a kid that had to grow up too fast and is now way out of his depth but scared to ask for help??? he wears glasses

Virgil: He’s Anxiety, used to be Paranoia when he was a dark side but then he got a redemption arc and now they love him, his color is purple, he loves spiders, he’s got really intense eyeshadow under his eyes, he’ll probably hiss at you when he first sees you

Logan: Ah, Logan. His title is Logic, and he’s truly the only light side with any braincells. However they NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM LIKE WTF sorry Thomas is such a dumbass it pisses me off being he! should! just! listen! to! Logan! and! he! wouldn't! have! half! these! problems! but nooOOOOoooOOoooo he’s gotta be a fucking idiot all the time, anyway Logan’s color is indigo he wears glasses he wears a black button-up and a blue striped tie and he’s the only light side worth talking to tbh

He teared up, reading the section about him. Remus got it. He understood how he felt. It was a bit confusing how he described him in more detail than the others, but he quickly moved past that, realizing Remus had forgotten to sign his name and chuckling a little.

(end of excerpt)

Here ya go

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

My father just showed me this and I feel like if Remus was a celebrity, this is exactly what he would do

If anyone's wondering what they're eating—

Roman: Toaster waffles

Janus: He just unhinged his jaw (traumatizing Roman and Patton) and had a few whole raw eggs before leaving to not eat for a few weeks

Remus: Raw oats (just throwing back handfuls and sometimes not even chewing them, Patton is very concerned)

Patton: Cereal

Logan: Oatmeal (he offered to make Remus some out of politeness but he wasn't interested)

Virgil: Dry toast

(I feel it's important to emphasize that everyone is sitting at the table, even Remus, except Virgil, who is sitting on top of the fridge, munching on plain toast)

(Virgil's shooting Janus infuriatingly smug looks because whenever he tries to get on the fridge in the dark side, Janus swats him down with a broom, but he can't do that now haha take that Receipt)

Sides: *eating breakfast together*

School bus: *drives past*

Remus: *sees that it's empty*

Remus: This bus empty,

Remus, miming jerking a steering wheel to the side: SKEET

Remus: *continues eating breakfast*

Patton, the only one not used to this: ???

Sides: *eating breakfast together*

School bus: *drives past*

Remus: *sees that it's empty*

Remus: This bus empty,

Remus, miming jerking a steering wheel to the side: SKEET

Remus: *continues eating breakfast*

Patton, the only one not used to this: ???